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Monday, June 8, 2009

Stepping Out of my Comfort Zone

Written by Lee

There was a time in my life when I guess I considered myself BOLD.  And that time was youth. Mainly it was during my teenage years when life seemed mine to grab however I wanted, oblivious to the bigger world just beyond my grasp waiting to gobble me up. 

As I grew up and shed my youthful shiny skin, I guess you could say I became a bit more reserved.  Now, for the people who really know me, I know they would never ever use the word "reserved" to describe me. They would give me plenty of examples of my life when I acted boldly in my choices.  And sure, I get it.  I have acted boldly on many occasions. It's true. 

But there is one area of my life where I know deep down I have not been bold, have not been a risk-taker, have not put myself out there for all to see....and that is the creative me. It's the part of me that's afraid to admit I might want to say I'm artistic, the part of my soul that is so hesitant to jump into any artistic endeavor where I am in charge.  I am totally okay with working under someone's else's artistic vision. I love being part of a collaborative team, I've done it for a lot of my career, but to have my own idea and run with it?  That's the tough one. It seems the impossible one for me.

I can analyze it 'til I'm blue in the face and come up with all kinds of reasons of why I'm so reticent to put my artistic, creative self forward.  But I think when it all shakes down, the answer is simple....I'm afraid.

It's hard to put myself out there open to criticism and failure when it comes to matters of the heart and soul.  And that is where creativity lives - in my heart and soul. 

But now at 41-years-old, I'm trying really hard to get back of some youthful optimism and boldness and let some of my creative soul shine through for all to see.  This blog has been an amazing stepping stone of that for me. I've written many posts from my heart and soul and it's been freeing on so many levels.

And now, this blog has led me to another endeavor where I'm stepping out of my comfort zone....and onto a stage.

Some of you may have heard of this show called "Expressing Motherhood." It's an evening of storytelling performed by real moms.  This summer the third round of this successful show is being performed in Los Angeles.  

And because life is one big wacky adventure, I am a part of it.

When I heard they were looking for their LA cast, I thought, "Maybe I should do this."  And then a friend and neighbor sent me the casting call and said "Maybe you should do this." And since I'm a believer in following on the path that opens up before me, I dug through this blog and submitted a couple of posts.

And I was chosen to perform one.

It's not going to be easy for me. To say I'm nervous and scared pretty much sums it up. But I'm also friggin' excited. I'm excited to get that squiggly squirmy feeling in my stomach when I step on that stage and deliver a story that actually means something to me. Something that is life-affirming and totally and utterly me. A public statement of my life experience and my heart that is living it.

I don't expect standing on that stage will feel anything close to comfortable but I'll have my cozy bed to snuggle into at the end of the night for that.

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And if you have any interest in seeing me standing naked on stage (not literally but uh, figuratively) and will be in Los Angeles in early August, tickets are on sale now.  The show runs August 1,2 and August 8,9 with the first night being a special "Mom's Night Out" event with treats and wine (which will surely improve my performance.)   I would love to see you there.


15 comments:

  1. It's harder as an adult then as a child. I give you a lot of credit for being willing to step outside your comfort zone.

    If you ask a group of 1st graders who can sing they'll all raise their hands. They can all sing.

    By 5th grade? Most can sing.

    By high school? Maybe four people and they'll quality it?

    Adults? Well.. most of us only at karaoke after a lot of beer. ;)

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  2. That is totally awesome! Congrats! I wish I could go and see you!

    I hope you'll have somebody dvd you and then perhaps....youtube?

    I hope!

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  3. since i am going through menopause, and all, i don't think i can make it. however, i am hoping to have my own special sneak preview of your performance!

    listen, seriously, i am so proud of you. i think as i get older, it takes more and more for me to step outside of my little comfortable nest. i LOVE the idea of taking risks... you're an inspiration. and you are going to be awesome. and if you don't at least mention my name when you make it on the oprah show, i won't ever speak to you again.

    so now i need your autograph.

    oh, and don't be all humble and shit, because that will piss me off. i know you are going to say that it is no big deal, but it is. sorry, it is. i bet our gal pals on the mwob scene will back me up.

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  4. I am in awe. It would take a lot for me to step on stage for anything. I have always been a shy when it comes to being in front of crowds.

    With that said though, this sounds like an amazing opportunity to share a piece of yourself with other women and moms that will fully appreciate it...like we do around here!

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  5. You completely rock.

    I would give ANYTHING to be there, to cheer you on...I'm so proud of you.

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  6. You my friend, are going to be the star!

    Way. to. go.

    I admire your guts and your determination and for digging down deep into that beautifully creative piece of yourself that we all know and love.

    I can't wait to cheer you on! (Oh, and to say that I know you).

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  7. Wow. YOU are a rock star! I wish I could come!

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  8. I won't be able to be there in person, but know that as someone who loves your blog, I'll be rooting you on in spirit! When you're over 40 it's important to keep that enthusiasm alive and you embody that! Thanks!

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  9. this is so totally cool! I wish that I lived in the area b/c it is something that I would so like to see.

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  10. wow-that is fantastic! that would scare the ever-loving shit out of me. i WISH i had the kahunas to do something like that.
    if i lived in LA i would totally be there cheering you on. you are going to feel so free on that stage :)
    awesome!

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  11. Yeah LEE! I wish you all the luck...remember how we all think you Rock...It'll get you through it! :)

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  12. Wow. Just simply wow.

    There is not enough booze to get me to do that.

    I'm so thoroughly impressed by you right now - you know, even MORE than I normally am. Which post is it!?!!?

    There better be someone in the audience taping it. I'll pay big bucks for the copy.

    You and your big brass pair impress the heck out of me.

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  13. You big ballah! Good for you! I used to do stand up and the stage doesn't haunt me. People not laughing, maybe! :) This is awesome! I hope you'll share some of it with us.

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  14. Ooooooh, honey. Congratulations! ;-) I wish I was there.

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  15. OH, you HAVE to tell us about this. I wish I could go, but I won't be in L.A. until sometime next week! (and yes, as soon as I know exactly when, I'm totally calling you!)

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