Written by Lee
There was a time in my life when I guess I considered myself BOLD. And that time was youth. Mainly it was during my teenage years when life seemed mine to grab however I wanted, oblivious to the bigger world just beyond my grasp waiting to gobble me up.
As I grew up and shed my youthful shiny skin, I guess you could say I became a bit more reserved. Now, for the people who really know me, I know they would never ever use the word "reserved" to describe me. They would give me plenty of examples of my life when I acted boldly in my choices. And sure, I get it. I have acted boldly on many occasions. It's true.
But there is one area of my life where I know deep down I have not been bold, have not been a risk-taker, have not put myself out there for all to see....and that is the creative me. It's the part of me that's afraid to admit I might want to say I'm artistic, the part of my soul that is so hesitant to jump into any artistic endeavor where I am in charge. I am totally okay with working under someone's else's artistic vision. I love being part of a collaborative team, I've done it for a lot of my career, but to have my own idea and run with it? That's the tough one. It seems the impossible one for me.
I can analyze it 'til I'm blue in the face and come up with all kinds of reasons of why I'm so reticent to put my artistic, creative self forward. But I think when it all shakes down, the answer is simple....I'm afraid.
It's hard to put myself out there open to criticism and failure when it comes to matters of the heart and soul. And that is where creativity lives - in my heart and soul.
But now at 41-years-old, I'm trying really hard to get back of some youthful optimism and boldness and let some of my creative soul shine through for all to see. This blog has been an amazing stepping stone of that for me. I've written many posts from my heart and soul and it's been freeing on so many levels.
And now, this blog has led me to another endeavor where I'm stepping out of my comfort zone....and onto a stage.
Some of you may have heard of this show called "Expressing Motherhood." It's an evening of storytelling performed by real moms. This summer the third round of this successful show is being performed in Los Angeles.
And because life is one big wacky adventure, I am a part of it.
When I heard they were looking for their LA cast, I thought, "Maybe I should do this." And then a friend and neighbor sent me the casting call and said "Maybe you should do this." And since I'm a believer in following on the path that opens up before me, I dug through this blog and submitted a couple of posts.
And I was chosen to perform one.
It's not going to be easy for me. To say I'm nervous and scared pretty much sums it up. But I'm also friggin' excited. I'm excited to get that squiggly squirmy feeling in my stomach when I step on that stage and deliver a story that actually means something to me. Something that is life-affirming and totally and utterly me. A public statement of my life experience and my heart that is living it.
I don't expect standing on that stage will feel anything close to comfortable but I'll have my cozy bed to snuggle into at the end of the night for that.
And if you have any interest in seeing me standing naked on stage (not literally but uh, figuratively) and will be in Los Angeles in early August, tickets are on sale now. The show runs August 1,2 and August 8,9 with the first night being a special "Mom's Night Out" event with treats and wine (which will surely improve my performance.) I would love to see you there.