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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Oh, the Draaammmaaa!

Computers.  Damn 'em all to hell.  

Me?  Well yeah, I know.  I seem to be living, eating and breathing via the computer these recent blogging days but my kids?  Why do they need so much computer time?  

Sure, Littlest Pet Shop (aka LPS),  My Noggin, Playhouse Disney, Nick Jr. and now this newest obsession, the magical Pixie Hollow (a place I'd like to be cruising around right about now) all seem rather fabulous and quite necessary to a modern-day kid, but for this modern-day mom, all I seem to be getting is a lot of headaches from my girls' desperately needed "screen time."

As I've said before, the topic of computers and kids is worthy of a friggin' global summit but for now, I'll just share one of many computer meltdowns we've experienced in this household.

Yesterday evening I told CR (the toothless 6-year-old) she could not create another deranged computer fairy on the glorious escape that is Pixie Hollow until she finished her homework.
(Home.Work.  Yikes.  Another topic completely...for future posts.)

CR seemed to be all cool with that plan but while I was outside pushing El Destructo in the swing (my current favorite place for El Destructo), one of CR's friends (and homework buddy) came out asking me how to spell our password.  (She was obviously instructed to do this by sneaky CR).  As IF I wouldn't know what was going down inside...

So as I'm known to be one cool cucumber when one of my kids blatantly disobeys me, I immediately fly inside and scare the livin' crap out of CR with the deranged computer fairy her mother has become.  I didn't need to yell hardly at all.  She knew what was up.   Homework friend session.  Over.  In her room.  Yes.  Chance at playdate resuming? Perhaps.  Only after time out in room was accomplished, apology presented, and homework completed.  

After I close CR in her room, I go back outside to check on El Destructo hanging at a standstill in his swing and try to make sure CR's friend is not too traumatized from what went down. When I return to CR to see if I can get that apology, I am instead met with this:

Sitting on the edge of her bed with tears dripping down her cheeks, she looks up at me with stinging eyes and through clenched mouth delivers a line worthy of being in a movie - "I feel like I'm living in a cage."

And that's when a good MWOB does the only thing left to do, I closed the door and laughed my a## off.  

Got any worthy dramatic kid lines to share?


  1. I like when my 5 yr old tells me that I am "Crowding him. Mom you are cramping my style" because I told him to eat his dinner...damn those wity kids.

  2. My 11 yr. old frequently informs me he is "the pilot of his own life." I think he heard this on some ridiculous TV show. You know the ones, where there are lots of adolescents/tweens/teens and no parents around.

  3. I like that one. The cage.

    My 11-yr-old likes to throw religion in my face.

    Doesn't God let us CHOOSE what we want to do in our lives?

    I tell him, when you are grown up, moved out, and living on your own then you can do it God's way.

    In the meantime, we're doing it MY way.

  4. Oh yeah gals - loving these drama lines from the kids...

    Mrs. Fish - he's only 5 and you're cramping his style? What will he say when he's 14??

    Kim - I have NEVER heard that one before - love it.

    Quirky Loon - no on God's way, yes on my way!! TOO FUNNY - I LOVE THAT ONE - especially since my kid's in Catholic school and I'm bound to get some God stuff throw in my face - NOW I will be prepared!

  5. My 6 year old constantly tells me "you're just trying to get me in trouble". Yes - you're right. It's not the fact that you randomly hit/pushed/kicked your sister, it's that "I" wanted to get "YOU" in trouble. That must be it.

  6. No kid stories of my own, but we still tell this one about my little sister when she was about four:
    Our older sister told her to pick up her toys three different times over the course of 30 minutes, as she sat slack jawed and enthralled in front of the TV; she kept saying "ok, I'll do it." Finally, my older sister said "if you don't pick up your toys now, I'm turning off the TV." My little sister turned just her head around and screamed:


    We still use this line in my family to mean "I certainly intended to do that, but in fact have made no effort whatsoever in that direction."

  7. My 9 year old just informed me that I was driving her "criz-azy."

    She has also informed me on more than one occasion that I'm "the shiz-nit."


  8. Oh Lord that is hilarious. My 7 year old once said (after I yelled at her) "You yelled at me like I'm not your CHILD."


    In an unrelated incident, my 11 year old said "You're really immature for a mom." True.

  9. Just laughing...I know that 6 year old, she is 26 now and getting married. My sis was just like that- and I wasn't oh no!
    Thanks for the comment on my blog!


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