moms without blogs

Written by Em

November - a time for hibernation, turning inward, taking stock and most importantly, giving thanks. Kind of like the push for peace and goodwill toward men once December rolls around, I'm afraid thanksgiving (lower-case "t") has the tendency of being somewhat seasonal for the average soul, but not so much for me since entering the bloggy world. You guys know how to smack a girl upside the head and encourage appreciation of the little things.

In an effort to kick off this month correctly by fully embracing my everyday blessings, I present...

The Top 10 Things I'm Truly Thankful for at this Very Moment:

10. The genius writers who continue to crank out original and smart episodes of "Phineas and Ferb" - honest to goodness and sincere, them's some funny folks. Color me pea green.

9. The Most Interesting Man in the World brought to you by Dos Equis. Charlton Heston meets Ernest Hemingway meets Steven Wright. What's not to love about a guy who "lives vicariously through himself?"

8. Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. It makes me happy that investigative journalism is dead, because I'm positive those things are very, very bad for us and/or the environment. But I don't care. My shower door has never looked better. Totally worth the third hand I'm going to sprout.

7. DVR technology. I know I've already gushed, but after some of the comments received on my recent post concerning our switch to Verizon Fios, I feel the need to defend my obsession. You may find me spoiled and entitled, but we can afford the luxury - I don't pass the plate for contributions, have revolving credit card debt or $0 in the savings account. If one day, I must choose between feeding my children or recording "America's Next Top Model," don't worry, I'll choose my children. Eventually. Until then, DVR goes right up there with fire and sliced bread.

6. "Party in the U.S.A." by Miley Cyrus. I challenge you to not "put your hands up." I find it irresistible and optimistic. I appreciate that on so many levels.

5. Nice teenagers. Trick-or-treating brought out the older kids in our neighborhood, and I'd like to offer their parents a shout out - job well done. You've restored some of my faith in the future.

4. Speaking of good trick-or-treating, kudos to you, Mother Nature, for the perfect temperature and full moon of Saturday night. Well done lovely lady. Well done.

3. My oldest son's newest game creation of Dodge the Tots. If you have a Sonic nearby, get yourself some stuffed tater-tot plushes via the kiddie meal and have at it, dodge ball style. The only cardio I'm getting these days.

2. My husband, who just handed me a warm, creamy McDonald's coffee. Love you babe. For so many reasons.

1. Being my boys' mother, because I'm privy to such beautiful rise-and-shine greetings as: "Guess who's outside Mama - Mr. Sun!!!" Good morning indeed.

What random items are you thankful for at this very moment?

(If you're just tuning in on this Thanksgiving Day, we are at the conclusion of our three-part mini-series story event. Please read Part One and Part Two to catch up. And check the sidebar for our special giveaway. Leave a comment to be entered in the drawing. Happy Thanksgiving!)

We questioned ourselves for days, even weeks, after making our decision as Penni looked more miserable than any human being should ever look. Penni went through more in her three months in the NICU than anyone should ever have to endure. There were countless down days and harrowing moments as the incredible medical team at PCMC kept her going. You would not believe the amount of medical staff it takes to keep one little tiny baby alive – we are ETERNALLY grateful for their knowledge and dedication!

Little Penelope made it through it all and is a relatively healthy, only slightly behind physically 3-year-old child. She shows no sign of the brain damage everyone was afraid of – again one in a million – a “true miracle” as her surgeon calls her. Penni is so funny and so stubborn and so SWEET. We are all so in love with her we can barely stand it. My 13-year-old speculated recently what our life would be without Penni – I’m glad we don’t have to know. I would probably be working again, I’d be stressed about the house, school, work, all the typical things – but with a giant hole in my spirit.

Now I get lonely for grown up conversation and a little time to myself and with my husband. We also miss the second income and that is stressful of course. But would we trade it? Can you even believe I’m asking that question? We are VERY blessed, and yes, we’ve asked ourselves many questions over the past three years. But did we EVER think this kid is what we would end up with when we were all in the NICU 3 years ago? I have to say NO WAY. You may think we’re pessimists to not have any hope. But you had to be there, you had to see her, you had to be in the moment. My husband, as a neuroscience trauma nurse, knew what we could be in store for – I could only think of what was happening in the minute, it was all I could handle. We didn’t allow ourselves to think of a future with Penni. It wasn’t a reality we could see. But here it is. We’re stressed a lot here and there, but truly we feel like we WON THE LOTTERY OF LIFE! ☺

I don’t know what we did to deserve it really.

When I think again back to Thanksgiving 2005, I have to give props to this sometimes extremely misunderstood city, county and state we now live in (Salt Lake City, Utah). No matter what you think of Thanksgiving, it makes you wonder what really went down all those years ago when the pilgrims settled in to what was to become our country with all its glory and imperfections. No matter what you think of the state of our country and world today. No matter what you think of Utah and its influences. This Thanksgiving truly try to think of your own blessings in your own tight circle of living. I mentioned the props that my community here in Utah deserve – we TRULY, absolutely, could not have made it through those trying days and weeks in the NICU without the support of family AND community. We have no family in Utah, our parents all came to us (my in-laws’ RV parked in the driveway - my mom, dad and stepmom all staying in the house with us at the same time! For WEEKS!) – And guess what? It all worked – everyone was one in their desire to help us and in turn help little Penni. Our neighbors, Dave’s co-workers, folks from our Presbyterian church, did I mention our neighbors… I don’t have words for how they rallied to help us.

I hate to say this… but sadly, we’re pretty sure this would not have happened in Los Angeles, not to this extent – we had meals EVERY night made for us by church folks and neighbors, some we didn’t even know! We finally had to move the meal schedule to every other night so the leftovers didn’t pile up! Penni was born in November 2005 and we had meals still coming to us in MARCH 2006! It was HUGE! Neighbors, Mormons, Presbyterians, whatever – they were amazing! And we are infinitely indebted to them! Meals, groceries, babysitting, driving, praying, emotional support – and talk about praying - there were prayer chains across the country working overtime sending such love toward Penni and us that we could feel it – it was so tangible and real – I mean, truly – AGAIN, what did we do to deserve it???

Bottom line, folks, right now I am a stay at home mom with a lot of really strange perspectives on the world, politics, the Obamas, Sarah Palin, Joe Six-Pack, the economy, war, schools, the health system, the prison system, drugs and alcohol, religion and faith, teenagers, sports, nature, family and motherhood and I’m willing to talk about most if not all of these topics at some point. But when it all is said and done, in the middle of this crazy world, at the exact center of my universe in my soul, spirit and heart – no matter my daily struggles and rants, I am tremendously and overwhelmingly THANKFUL for who I am and for what I’ve been given.

Do I have any idea what God, the world, life has in store for Penni, for me, for the rest of my family? No I don’t. We still have some obstacles to hurdle with Penni medically, she’s still quite fragile, but she appears to have a long life ahead of her and plenty of time to conquer EVERYTHING! We’re excited to be a part of this journey with her and are grateful that we have this wonderful little human being to give us immediate perspective.

Ultimately, this is it. The heart of what being thankful is all about – life, love, family, friends and peace in daily life. I mean peace in a centered, semi-confident sort of way, even in the midst of chaos. What are we without these things? Let's be thankful we all don’t have to know.

Love to every last one of you who read this,

Happy Day of Thanks,

Karen

(Karen and Penni's story in pics)