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Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The 12 Questions of Christmas.

Written by Em

My children hardly notice all the behind-the-scenes action that goes on in Santa's Workshop - a place I like to call "my closet" the other 11 months of the year. As it should be, really. I want my boys (7 and 3 1/2) to believe in the magic for as long as possible, because once you're an adult and the reality of Christmas hits, the fun can really be sucked out of the process, no?

During this year's hustle and bustle, when my brain is not making a list and checking it twice, I notice that some of the same questions that occupied my thoughts last year are rattling around my noggin again this year. Maybe you all can help me out...

1. Why is it, every year I pack the lights, the trees, the village houses (oh yeah, Al Gore would definitely put me on the green naughty list) away in the same boxes, yet, the next year, when I open up those same boxes, I'm always short one extension cord?

2. Christmas Eve dinner = Turkey? Roast beef? Ham?

3. How does a young, proper Southern lady, raised on The Nutcracker Suite, Christmas Tea outings to Bulloch Hall, taffeta, Mary Janes and smocked dresses end up with this in her front yard?


NASCAR Santa is the highlight of the decoration festivities for the boys (there's actually two - a Jimmie Johnson version as well. Of course there is). During all my years of helping my mother trim the tree and light the Advent wreath, I can safely say I never imagined this being a part of my Christmas Future.

4. Why do we go with the white when I really love those old fashioned multi-colored outdoor lights? It's not like I'm worried about my neighbors thinking we're tacky. (see #3).

5. Why, no matter how well I prepare myself, am I not physically capable of receiving a handmade gift from one of my sons without turning into a snot spewing sap?

6. Will this finally be the year I trash the fake so we have no excuse but go old school fresh next year?

7. Why, oh why, do white fudge covered Oreos give me the biggest headache? Better yet, why do I choose to keep consuming them?

8. Does anyone else find this funny?


I feel somewhat disrespectful, because really, He's the Reason for the Season, but it's funny, right? We discovered it last year in a neighbor's yard, and it's back again - I think it's hilarious, and I take the long way home just for the smile. (another smile - that shot is actually from Walmart - neighbor privacy and all - last year when I had that picture on my blog, Jesus went for $90 - this year - $98. GD inflation.)

9. How many Advent calendars is one too many? We have: a handmade Santa with a cottonball beard that you add to day by day; a Hallmark Chritmas tree with magnet ornaments that go on day by day; we have an old fashioned paper, pop-out calendar that you open day by day; we have a nativity set that you add the players day by day. And because that wasn't enough, I have a count down going on, on our kitchen blackboard.

Keeping up with all this counting down is Oldest's responsibility. I figure it's my job, as Head Elf, to spread around the stress. He's three days behind as I type this. And sleeping soundly I might add.

10. Give into the ease of gift bags or stick to traditional boxes/wrapping paper?

11. Is it time for me to join the 21st Century and actually purchase "The Charlie Brown Christmas Special?" I LOVE the boys catching it on regular t.v. because I remember the commercials and axiously awaiting the night when I was a child. DVR has really killed this type of delayed gratification for the youth of today, and that makes me sad. Until this year. First President Obama bounced it for the Afgan troop deployment anouncement (important, yes, but difficult to explain to a 7-year-old.), and then our local station moved it another week for some reason or another.


We finally caught it last night. Happiness is a live run of "The Charlie Brown Christmas."

12. Is December 16 too early to be fantisizing about daffodils and tulips?

I think I need to look into some anti-anxiety meds.

Notice, that's not a question.

P.S. May your Holidays be the merriest and your New Year be blessed!!

Love, E


  1. Dont feel too bad Em....we have an inflatable tree AND a train with pop up elves and penguins. We ooze tackiness.
    My boys have chocolate filled advent calendar (surprise, surprise...right??)

  2. I love it--I know we all can list these same type of questions! Hubs puts up the large, multi-colored outdoor lights of yore cuz that's what he had and they are the coolest. The boys love them.
    Oh and I hear ya on C-mas Eve dinner. We used to have a few friends over and went the seafood route with lobster and fish and shrimp. Now we do a standing rib roast (prime rib). Check out Tyler Florence on FoodNetwork online.
    I have given up trying to find those specials on TV. Now we all watch Chtistmas Vacation and Elf and more on dvd.
    NINE more days!
    P.S. We were going to get married at Bulloch Hall but a different 1800's home became available down from the Square so we switched.

  3. The multi colored outdoor lights are tacky? I thought they would be called vintage by now. I loved ours when I was a kid.

    Merry Christmas EM ; -)

  4. Oh this is classic my friend!! I am cracking up over here mainly from the inflatables that have taken over Christmas! Nascar Santa in YOUR front yard??? Hilarious!

    And an inflatable Jesus. Sorry that's just wrong. Jesus was never meant to be inflatable. But actually maybe he was and that's why it was so easy for him to walk on water... hmmmm....I'll have to reconsider my initial reaction.

    And tacky? Multi-colored lights? I'm emailing you a picture of our tree! Hubs and I can NOT do all white - ever! We like all the sparkly us tacky - we dig it! And all of those colored lights are on a real tree. I was laughing recently about how real Christmas trees are now politically incorrect. Screw 'em. I can't live without that smell wafting through the halls...

    And oh yeah, wrapping paper and boxes always. I have never been able to embrace gift bags - I just can't ever get that tissue paper to look right....

    I also can't seem to stop answering all of your questions.....but I guess I have the right to ramble here. :-)

    Merry Christmas my friend! Love this post!

    Our advent calendar is neglected....always behind. And we only have one.

  5. These are some really good questions. And I am wondering the same thing about the colored lights. I love the colored one but yet, my house, my tree is all white. Why?

  6. I am STILL laughing over the Nascar blow up Christmas decoration. Freaking hilarious!!! PS-please don't show it to my husband or father or I may get stuck with one as well.:)

    Thanks for coming over to my place to say hi! Great post!


  7. Charlie Brown Christmas is such a classic that I understand your hesitancy to buy it on DVD. The WAITING for it to air on broadcast television and enduring all of the commercials is a part Christmas like waiting in line to see Santa, driving all over to find the best (& tackiest) holiday light displays and taking the time to sign every Christmas card you send out!... :)

    BUT the Christmas story told in that sweet Charlie Brown way and the simple lessons learned there could be worth making the DVD a permanent part of your collection!

    Thanks Em for the fun & funny Christmas questions - I could write a novella on each - love them all! But I'll spare you - I don't want to become a bore, especially during the holidays.

    Merry Christmas Everyone! And Em, it is NEVER too early to dream about daffodils & tulips...

  8. We have all white lights but I love love loved the multi-colored lights we hung outside when I was a child. And the inflatables...our neighbors have about 20 in their yard and they have them for every holiday year round. Our son wants to drive by there 15 times a day to see them. He is 2 so we oblige.

  9. I want to help you answer your questions - though I think that might ruin all the fun & become more about me than you...But, more than that, I want to tell you how much I enjoyed this post. Excellent encapsulation of maybe one-third of the crazy stuff that runs through Mommy's head every half-hour or so this time of year. Loved it!

  10. I'll solve #2 - we are having Shrimp Tikka Masala, a yummy Indian dish!

  11. That blow up nativity really is hilarious. What the what?

    And because we're moving the day after Christmas, I haven't started shopping, and I've barely started packing...

    pass the anti-anxiety meds, please.

  12. I'm jewish, so this may explain it, but I want inflatable Jesus.

  13. We have the huge multi color lights.... buy them on sale this year, you will not be disappointed. You and the fudge Oreo... epic battle. And there is no such thing as too many advent items (wreaths etc...) . Happy HO Ho Ho.


  14. Kablooey, girl, you made me laugh out loud. Inflatable Jesus is all yours. But what would your Rabbi think?

    I hope I did not offend with the color lights = tacky. I don't think they're tacky, I think my neighbors would think they're tacky. The neighborhood we live in is pretty much a white-light only kind of establishment. But like I said, with NASCAR Santa in the front yard, I believe we've already annoyed the ones we're going to annoy :-)

    A big Bahhumbug to them anyway!!

    Happy Holidays Ya'll!!


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