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Monday, November 30, 2009

Seeing the Light ...

Written by Amy, a mom without a blog

I have almost died three times. Well, I should say I almost died twice, but I looked death straight in the eye a third time.

Age 12: I was crossing the street by foot and got hit by a car. I was rushed to the hospital, all my vital signs stopped twice, they brought me back “to life” and a grueling, six weeks later I was released from the hospital after recovering from multiple fractures in my skull, pelvis and having two screws and a staple put into my knee in order to hold it together.

After that experience, I can honestly say it had ultimately affected me positively. Of course, I wallowed in pain both physically and emotionally through what had happened but after coming out on the other side, I was given a sense that God had left me on the planet for a purpose. I was here. I was thankful. And most of the time, I carried that sense with me – that I had a purpose.

Age 18: After getting kneed in the stomach during basketball practice (by my own teammate I might add who was vying for my position – but that’s another story), I was seen by the staff doc and was told I had probably been bruised. He said if anything were to change in the way I was feeling, I should immediately go to the hospital. I woke up in the middle of the night in excruciating pain, crawled into my parent’s bedroom where they scooped me up and drove like crazy to the ER. My spleen had just ruptured and I was bleeding internally. Moments after entering the ER, I was having emergency surgery. I had been minutes away from dying.

Ok again, feeling pretty sorry for myself, but had been reassured. God had big, big plans for me. Right? I’m still here. I’ve got stuff I need to do on this planet. I’m not done yet.

Fast forward to age 41 (just over 1 year ago), when I was being wheeled into the operating room for brain surgery. I was having a brain tumor removed. The week of the surgery, I was a blubbering mess. Things had changed. I had two kids now and a husband I love dearly but who is clearly unable of raising our two kids alone. I was scared and panicked to the core. I needed to address the tumor, but what if I didn’t wake up? What would happen to my family? The risks were so much higher now. I could not afford to die.

A pretty large portion of my purpose had been uncovered and now there were two little souls who couldn’t afford to lose me. I wallowed. I sobbed. I cried my eyes out, but I made it out again and this time I had 24 staples in my head along with three titanium plates and six screws to prove it.

What am I thankful for every – single – day –of – my - life?

I am thankful for my simple existence.

I am thankful for this very moment in time.

I am thankful I am here.

I might not be fully aware of God’s plan for me, but I know He’s keeping me here for a reason and for that … I am so very thankful.


  1. Wow Amy - you've been through it like not many people have - whatever "it" is - some serious mind-bending trauma. Your parents must have gone through "it" as well... Parenting is forever right? God must be planning on you being there for your two kiddos forever as well.

    I'm thankful you're here Amy and for all the wonderful gifts you bring to your family & to this life. Its early, but I needed your honesty and strength to keep me from crying all over myself today about my broken hand! Thanks for sharing these life-changing events with us!

  2. That brought tears to my eyes, Amy. We may not always be aware of our purpose in our lives, but are all here to support and love one another! Keep on loving your wonderful family!

  3. Why does it seem like certain souls have to battle through so much, while others make it through life "unscathed?"

    I'm so very glad you're here dear Amy - God's plan is simple yet perfect - being a good mama and a good wife. You got it covered babe.

  4. first of all, if i were you, i wouldn't even be bothered with any of this, because obviously you have 9 lives and have barely made a dent in your allotted near-misses.

    now, that being said, i was completely in awe of you before, what with your humor and strength and love... but now i am totally blown away by you. you inspire me to go out and fully engage in the day and be thankful for my purpose, whatever it may be. let's see how far i get.

    thanks for sharing, supergirl!

  5. Amy, my dear special friend, you have another purpose. Your other important purpose has been to keep me sane! At work you were my confidant to who I could go to and de-stress with, as a mother you guided me through the early baby days when I thought I could never make another moment, and you continue to be my rock who I always know I can count on for anything.

    So add to your list of purposes - an awesome lifelong friend. Count me in as another person who is so glad you are here every moment.

  6. this was so beautiful. what a great lesson. just be thankful to be.

  7. WOW
    Well, I can say that I feel blessed to have read this post...what a beautiful reminder, as I am always looking for the BIG REASON I am alive...

    and please, be careful today...look both ways before you cross the street...

  8. Wow - those are some pretty incredible events to go through, and you seem to have an incredible perspective to share from your experiences. We all need that reminder - to be grateful for simply having woken up, to have another day -- and hopefully we can learn that without having to go through a near-death experience. Thanks for sharing your stories.

  9. WOW! thanks for reminding me that the unexamined life is not worth living.

    We should all reflect on things everyday.

    Thanks for sharing yours with us!

  10. I am also very thankful that you are here, Ames. Along with all the others who read your gripping words and are touched. To. our. core.

    Wow is all I can say. You are clearly a woman of strength. Pure strength. Your children, your family, your friends...they are all your purpose. You touch lives just by being the extraordinary woman that you are.

    Too often, I forget to be thankful for just "existing." What an absolute gift our lives are. Thanks for the beautiful reminder.

  11. Oh my friend. I have said this to you many times but I will say it again. You. Are. A. Survivor. You have faced so much, even more than mentioned here, and you have not only survived, but created a life where you inspire others with your strength. I know that's hard to see about yourself at times, but I see it. All of your friends do.

    Although you don't need to talk about your struggles often, this post reminds me of the fragility of our existence on the planet and how, when you have faced death like you have, you have a perspective that most of us don't. But you have given me that perspective today and it has defined my day. It has lifted me and humbled me in gratitude for being here on the planet right. now.

    None of us know the exact plan God has for us, but boy, I am so thankful and blessed that part of His plan was to have you in my life as a lifelong friend.

    I love you Ames.

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