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Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Yes, I do believe I've got it goin' on

This week at MWOB, in preparation of that fascinating holiday of Mother's Day where all of us moms add more and more things to our to-do list in order to honor all of the mothers in OUR lives, we're exploring the topic "Defining Moments of Motherhood."   Here's some spice on the subject that is signature Sass.   Enjoy.   

Written by Sass

When I was a kid, I don't remember a lot of boys falling in love with many of the moms in my town. I don't remember there being that one mom that stood out as the "MILF" of the neighborhood. I suppose there were a couple who were dressed to the nines all the time, or those who were in better shape physically, but I just remember them all looking like..."moms."

Maybe it was just perspective, I don't know. But when I gave birth to my first child, I vowed that I was going to be THAT mom. I was going to be the mom that the kids looked at and thought, "Man, she's got it goin' on." I was going to be the one always smiling, laughing, joking around with the kids, the ultimate cool mom. I was going to be the mom who always had the best snacks, the coolest house to hang out in, the mom who just..."got it."

I look at myself today, and I fear that in some respects, I've not quite lived up to that goal. I'm not the skinniest, most in shape mom. I'm not the best dressed, or the most stylish. I do believe I'm one of the funniest, perhaps one of the orneriest, and maybe one of the most fun. Kids around the age of 4 tend to see me as a big jungle gym, 7-year-olds love that I'll run and chase them and tease them. My 9 year old daughter's friends love that I'll blare the music louder than most, and I know all the words to the Hannah Montana movie soundtrack.

Apparently, though, someone else sees me as something...entirely different.

The other night, we had some friends over. We cooked out, then sat out on the deck enjoying a few cocktails and letting the kids run around like a bunch of crazy people. A boy down the street, who seems a little lonely, came over and hung out with my kids. He's 12, and actually a rather sweet kid. A lot of times I'll be cooking dinner and he'll hang out keeping an eye on the kids when I can't be outside with them. When he came over, I asked him if he'd eaten yet, offered him some food, but he said he'd eaten. I had baked cookies, though, and he dove right in.

I noticed him lurking around the deck a little more closely than usual.

And then I realized he was throwing little rocks at me, and standing under the deck where I was sitting, gazing up at me...

I'm a MILF.

I honestly believe I've got a 12-year-old admirer. The other adults started realizing it, too, and were teasing me relentlessly. I blushed, and honestly felt sorry for the kid. I remember feeling that way about my brother's friends, who were ten years older than me. I kept thinking of that song, "Stacey's mom, has got it goin' on." And the longer they teased me, the more I noticed that he literally followed me everywhere.

My husband's teasing eventually eased up when he realized it was bugging me. I daresay he was even a tad bit jealous. What makes me think he was jealous?

Saturday morning he decided to go for a bike ride. I looked out the bedroom window and saw him take off. He glanced up and saw me looking at him. He then proceeded to ride a wheelie down the block, a wheelie that would make any 12-year-old boy proud.

Even in my husband's eyes...I'm THAT mom.

I'm a MILF, and proud of it.


  1. How cute is that!!!? I don't remember growing up with a MILF around either. Maybe they were around but because it was a different time.. ie without all of the spoils of today.. they weren't noticed because there wasn't a name and/or they weren't sensationalized.

  2. Oh my, Miss Sass! I definitely think you've got it going on. Your husband and the wheelie! Honest to goodness, they're all Peter Pan, aren't they?

    I can't think of one of my mom's friends who was really hot, but I can think of about six of mine. Might be time to weed out the goodlooking ones :-)

  3. Yes, he's lusting after your "cookies"... ;-)

  4. I hear you! I've actually been spending a lot of time lately trying to figure out where whatever little bit I had going on - went.

    Have a great Mother's Day! Great blog btw - bookmarked it! :)

  5. I'm glad the hubs didn't end up crashing onto his back during that wheelie! I have no doubt he thinks you are the milfiest MILF of all!

  6. lucky bitch - I am not a MILF, not even close. Hell, I wasn't even an ILF before I was an M.

  7. There were no MILF's in my hood as a kid either.My current neighborhood is a buffet of wanna be MILF's. When I was a teacher, as I am about to be again, one of my high school students left behind a TILF list. I couldn't decide if I was happy or mortified to be on it!

  8. I admired many a mum when I was his age.

    I'll believe it that you're the funniest, and by the sounds of it, pretty cool. But I can't believe he was throwing rocks. Rocks?!

  9. I'm so glad we can always count on you, Sass, to tell it like it is. You are one hip chick.

    I didn't even know what MILF meant....I had to look it up. That's how completely UN-hip I am!


  10. Hey! HEY!! ME TOO!!!! Ooooh, hi-5 me, Sass! *WHEEEEE!* I got called "MILF" by a boy outside my daughter's middle school. At first I was horrified.... because, as a MOM, I don't want my little girl going to school with a boy with a mouth and mind like THAT.

    But after the stay-the-f*ck-away-from-my-daughter rage faded, I realized, dang it, being seen as a MILF is kinda... I dunno... flattering.

    I must be doing something right. ;-)

    So here's a happy cinco de mayo to YOU my MILFy sister! Hee hee!

  11. That little crusher dude is soooo cute. To have a MILFy thing for you. And your hubs? Well, that's waaaayyyy cuter. Making sure he has his woman's attention....I. love. that.

    So MILF....I have never given it much thought but I'm sure I am not one. But I am to my man and that's all that matters to me. :-)

  12. Yeah, I don't know what MILF means either. Not sure I want to.
    But loved this post; I love how you write.

    Once my children reach mid-teenage and start bringing home their friends I just love it. They are so smart and so funny. Not a one has developed a crush on me...that I know of... (That sounds really creepy, but I'm gonna keep it in). The real secret to having the friends hang out at your house is the quality of the food in the pantry and fridge.

    Went to "17 Again" and if one of the friends happened to be Zac Efron I would be in serious trouble. I have a very inappropriate crush on that boy.

  13. Okay I'm a day late & blah, blah, blah...
    But ROCK ON GIRL being a MILF...I just hope none of my girls (or my son), brings home the kid who thinks I'm the MILF...or maybe that would be kinda cool??! And if that doesn't happen my man still says I'm a gr8888 MILF.

    Yeah & where were all these MILF's when we grew up...should I ask my big Bro? Curious?

  14. Ohhhhh, my. That is too adorable, and that your husband "still" worries about what you think of him...cherish it.


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