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Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Who says my kids are good for nothing? Not me!

Written by Lee

I've been feeling a bit negative in my brain about the whole kids/parenting thing. Like "why are my kids so crazy, I must be a lousy mom" type of brain stuff.  

And I'm tired of it.  

So tonight I am diving deep into the crevices of the thing inside my skull to dig up some positive stuff about me and the kids.  Like surely they have given me so much, right?  Like I am so blessed to be given this perspective on life through the eyes of my innocent children, right? Like if I really take pause and ponder the wonderment of my existence, my noggin will give me example after example of how my life is better because of them, right?

I'm trying here.

Bear with me.

So even though I could give you plenty o' BIG, IMPORTANT examples of how friggin' beautifully life-changing they have been to me as a woman and a soul on this planet, there is one shining thing that is distinctly different in my life because of my children that I simply can not ignore tonight.


Really now.  What about these?

This topic may circle the arena of TMI but I'm too tired to care.  

Before having kids, this little slick plastic box was never seen sitting near our toilets.  Now, I can not imagine life without it.  And if that slick little plastic box goes empty, holy holy.  Let's not talk about that.

It's amazing to me that more adults do not understand the value and necessity of these flushable wipes. Before kids, I, too, was utterly clueless about what I was missing.

Now I will say that my dude was a bit more dialed-in to the need for something moist in the bathroom arena. Whenever we were in Europe together and we spotted a bidet in our travels, he would say "Hey honey, check this concept out. They're really onto something here."  And I would nod my head in semi-understanding but not really understanding.  How could I?

That dry toilet paper always seemed to work uh, just fine.

But once I had kids, it didn't take me long to notice the practicality and power of wipes. I mean, I wouldn't imagine wiping one of my kid's asses with just toilet paper, like cleaning a diaper with toilet paper? HUH?, so the next logical step in my thinking was why not maybe, just maybe, utilize these wipes as adults?

Now, I'm not saying a diaper is in any way remotely comparable to well, you know, so whatever. You get the point though, don't you?

During potty training, my girls insisted on using wipes when I helped them after going you know, Number Two. (Okay typing that felt so weird to me but whatever. I am totally on a roll here so just leave me alone.)  It was like they were used to the feeling of moist wipes from when they were infants and using toilet paper just seemed so rough.  And of course they were RIGHT!

So they were the ones who inspired the whole looking into the flushable wipes thing and well, the rest is history.

Now I know from experience that there are many many many adults that do not use flushable wipes for themselves or their kids and they even think I am bit strange for having them sitting in both of our bathrooms.  But you know what?  I truly believe you are missing out.

Flushable wipes have crazily impacted my daily existence and they are one of the many gems, yes, real treasures, given to me by my children.  

So there.  I hope your eyes have been opened to the pure joy of it all. 

You can thank me later.

DISCLAIMER:  This post was not sponsored in any way, shape, or form by Cottonelle. I feel the need to say this these days and maybe I shouldn't but whatever.  I love Cottonelle wipes and will defend them to the grave but they did not encourage or bribe me to say these things.  But if, by some ridiculous reason, they are reading, I will of course start accepting bribes now.  I want BIG cash so I can pay all of my contributing writers.  Is anyone reading the small print?  Whoever is reading this, the cash is yours.  If I ever get any.


  1. LOL! I heard this conversation on a radio morning show many years ago and the female host was raving about the flushable wipes and the male host was not convinced. Since she was so convinced I had to try and I am happy I did. It may seem weird but these things are great. Once you crossover you won't go back and don't ever let the box get empty! A big no, no!

  2. LOVE flushable wipes. Without them you use TOO MUCH TOILET PAPER in addition to what has already been "deposited" into the porcelin god and you have toilet backup. You'll be reading about that on my blog.

  3. Ha! I love it. And yes this is one of the major reasons I'm glad I have kids.


  4. I was perusing the Wal-mart aisle a few weeks ago & thought I would pick some up just to see what the fuss was about. They are WONDERFUL! What did we do without them? Lol! nevermind, I know the answer!

  5. speaking of asses...AGAIN!!!!

    this post was hilarious. your excitement over the wipes is contagious! i will say, that i was in a friend's bathroom the other afternoon, and i spotted those very wipes. i did pause because no one in that household is under the age of 15. so i guess they're fans, too!

  6. A couple of things:

    1. WATCH OUT for generic wipes from China. I'm just sayin'. Mr. Hot's butt has FINALLY recovered.

    2. snort! You said "on a roll". Get it? Roll? of Toilet Paper?

    Okay, so maybe that was just funny to me.

  7. Kids are the gifts that just keep on giving.

    As you happen to know, I am an old-fashioned butt wiper. I like toilet paper and might feel as if I'm reverting back to childhood if I try your suggestion (ya know, getting so old that I need to start using baby things again - like a bib).

    Before I "poo-poo" your idea, I guess I should try it out. But honestly, it kinda creeps me out.

  8. Lee, I am going out and getting some wipes. Peanut completely stopped potty training b/c of the rough paper...didn't even cross my mind...ingenious!

  9. I suspect once you sober up- you are totally going to regret the frankness of this post.

    Or. Perhaps I will.


  10. This does beg the question...

    back to front? or front to back?

    Oh yeah, I went there! Get it. WENT there!

    Maybe I need to sober up.

    Thanks for sending me to dreamy land with a snort and a big laugh. You rock.

  11. Pure Joy? And Jems? I need to get me some of those. If something can make your bum feel that good....

    "Lilly! Buy me some Cottonelles!"

  12. "I've been feeling a bit negative in my brain about the whole kids/parenting thing. Like "why are my kids so crazy, I must be a lousy mom" type of brain stuff."

    Same page...but too tired to blog about it:P

  13. I'm off to gets me some of those Cottonelle moist wipes at Target RIGHT NOW, baby! You have me convinced--hook, line and sinker! (get it? SINKER?? hee hee)

    And hell, yes I read the fine print!! Hey Cottonelle people, send some of that cash my way!!


  14. You know, we need to break these out again. It's been awhile and we could use them for sho!

  15. Someone else was talking about this last night. I think you've convinced me to give these a try.

  16. It's the little things that count.

    And that was in no way TMI.


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