Written by Quirkyloon
We all need them. If you just read that and are thinking to yourself, "Hmpf, not me." Then you are lying to yourself. Haven't you heard of that saying, "No blogger is an island."
I came across this article at WikiHow that outlines fourteen steps to creating a friendship in just 60 short seconds!
(Thank the interwebz Gods for the entire "Wiki" family. Wikipedia, Wikiquote, Wiktionary, etc., etc., etc. Hmm, I wonder if there is a WikiQuirky?)
Needless to say, Wiki wow!
To be clear, these steps are not from my quirky mind (making sure to give credit where credit is due), but my assessment/comments (in italics) are 100% quirkified by yours truly.
- Be confident. If the other person doesn't start the conversation, then you should try to start it. Look around and see what is the most interesting thing to talk about. Talking about fashion or music could help. You could start the conversation like this: "Have you seen (your favorite singer's) new video..." or "That is a really nice bracelet, where did you get it..." or something else in that style.
Good advice. The only additional suggestion I have is to make sure there is another person around that you are trying to strike up the conversation with. It can be quite embarrassing when you realize the person you thought you were talking to walked away and you've just had ten minute monologue with...yourself.
- Remember that people judge you on first impressions. So always shower, brush your teeth and keep good hygiene, and dress nice. You shouldn't be too fancy. You just have to look decent and that will make people like you more. Also it is important to know that looks aren't everything so follow all of these techniques as well.
So what is being said is no more sweats with holes days? I'm not sure if I can live without my holey sweats. Gulp. I wear them everywhere. Is that why so many people turn away from me?
- Be interesting. Even if friendship is not based on clothing style, a fashionable combination could be a fun thing to talk about. Maybe you will find a friend with a similar clothing style.
Fashion? I don't know anything about fashion. But wait! I do know exactly where the Women's Clothing Department is at the Super Wal-Mart. Whew, I'm covered on this one. How about you?
- DO NOT pick and choose. If you want friends you must be willing to associate with people who may not have an aura of confidence and popularity around them. If you pick ugly/unsociable/eclectic friends they will be more faithful than someone who has people falling over themselves to impress them . Sometimes people will size you up well based on inclusiveness, and if they do not... What do you think they will do to you the next time a 'cooler-looking' chick chats them up. Have common decency. Befriend the creepers. It will benefit you in the end.
I love this! "Befriend the creepers." I happen to be a creeper. Oh yeah, the friends should be fawning all over me any minute now. Waiting. *tick* *tock* *tick* *tock* Well, I'm sure all those new friends will get to me...eventually.
- Big smile. The big smile is a sign that you are a fun and approachable person, and that makes it easy for others to come up to you.
I'm not so sure about this step. I mean sometimes a smile that won't go away? It can look a little freaky. Or a big smile at a person who just slipped and fell? That smile will probably not endear you as potential friendship material.
- Think positively. The smile is important, but you will have to smile on the inside too. Think about positive things, and your mood will make everyone feel good.
Okay. Let me start my positive thinking. Still trying. Searching the Quirky data banks. Still coming up empty. Just give me another minute, please. Ooh, ooh! I found one! It is only supposed to reach 101 degrees today and not 109 degrees like it did yesterday. Is that positive enough?
- Keep in touch. You've just met someone and now you think that you can become good friends, so what are you waiting for, ask for her/his phone number or her/his e-mail address.
Fer shame, fer shame Wiki! What about a blog address? And Twitter addy? That's where it's all at these days. Who's updating you again Wiki?
- Be open. Never judge anyone before you meet her/him, and be open for hanging out. You will be surprised by the number of new friendships coming your way so always be equally nice and friendly to everyone and your life will be overflowing with friends.
But what if I don't want to be friendly with EVERYONE I meet? I'm not saying, "be a hater," but I'm probably not looking for friendship with that newly registered sex offender that moved in next door. Yeah, maybe not so much.
- Have fun. When you feel nervous, try to laugh more. That will help you to forget about the problem. You can say a joke - even a bad joke can make a smile on your face.
Does this include nervous giggles and laughter? I'm really good at those.
- Don't be scared to randomly talk to someone, especially if you know absolutely no one at the place you are. Chances are, they want a new friend too, if they don't know anyone else either.
Oh, I do this all the time. I tell people where the bathroom is, even if they don't ask. I figure I would want to know, so why wouldn't they want to know?
- Take initiatives. Do not wait for people to come to you; approach them tactfully. For example, if you see someone eating at cafeteria alone, walk up to him/her and say something like "i have seen you in my biology class (or somewhere else or other occasions), can I join you?" If you are tired of being friendless, you MUST take action to change that or you will continue to feel miserable and being left out. Remember, no one can do this for you, only you can do this for yourself.
Again, be careful with this one. My gynecologist's nursing assistant recently "recognized" me. It was, er, uncomfortable.
- Do not get discouraged if your attempt to strike up a conversation goes nowhere. Understand that not everyone is sociable; practice your social skill on someone else.
Just move on to the next lucky victim!
- Don't wait for opportunities because they may never come. Instead, think hard to create opportunities to initiate the contact. For example, if someone needs a ride to shop at Wal-Mart and you happen have the same need or you just want to do it to strike up a conversation, offer them a ride.
I'm not on board with this step either. I thought I was giving this lady a ride to the bank and found out "accidentally," I was the getaway car for an attempted robbery.
- Be humorous. people LOVE to be around someone who is funny. It the best thing to break the ice. That is why many speakers use joke as a punch line for their speeches. Search online for numerous jokes. However, they must fit the occasions and be told at the right time in the right place. Also, rehearse at home will help find the best way to deliver the joke.
Whoa! Humor is learned? And here I thought all this time I was just naturally funny.