Dive In

I consider myself a risk-taker.  Not a parachute jumping kinda risk-taker. Just someone who feels pretty comfortable with the general unknowns of life. I've worked as a freelancer my entire career and the thought of a steady job scares me in many ways.  Becoming a mom has forced me to "settle" more than I would have ever thought I would, but my brain is continually clicking towards some sort of new frontier - real or imagined.  

But yet, I admit I have fears. Don't we all? And these fears mildly gnaw at my insides keeping me from stepping forward at times.

When I started blogging, I didn't know what to expect.  I knew I wanted a creative outlet and that in itself scared the semi-creative person that I am. One of my greatest fears lies in this arena - putting my "creative" self out there for all to see - and maybe judge. 

I never realized or understood the social aspect of blogging. Before starting this writing space, I never spent any time at all meeting/connecting/re-connecting with anyone online in any capacity.  I'm a face-to-face person really. I love hanging with my friends in person and I love meeting new people - in person. 

The thought of "meeting" anyone that could be a "real" friend online seemed quite strange to me.  I guess I questioned the quality of it. And the general emphasis on quantity when it comes to blogging supports my original thought. 

Bloggers are into numbers, it seems, and really, I'm not that into numbers. Numbers don't drive me. I mean, it's cool when I get a lot of comments, but when I feel too busy to genuinely reply to each one, I feel well, kinda lame.

Let's just say, I'll take one quality interaction over ten surface ones.

So as I mellowly built this little place over here, I read comments from strangers and I wondered who they were, what they were really all about, why they came to my blog, what's on their blog, etc. etc.  And maybe I would email a little reply back, and then that was it.  Most often. 

And then sometimes they would send something back. But rarely. 

And I started to wonder if any of these people that I emailed with would actually move beyond just these little back and forth interactions that basically said....not much. Just little crafted comments to get a chuckle or express understanding or add a tidbit to the topic.  

I mean, can a relationship really be built on these quick faceless interchanges?

I started to wonder.

And then I read this. A post written by a woman a lot of bloggers know.  Her name is Braja and her blog is a special place called Lost and Found in India: Notes from a Waylaid Spiritualist.

This post I read was about her "imaginary" friends that she had met through blogging and how real they had become in her life. And she offered proof to her IRL friends who doubted that these blogging friends were real that they were indeed very real.

And I remember reading this post and thinking, "Wow, so this chick named Braja has this. These real friends she met through blogging. I wonder if that will ever happen to me."

And I wrote something along those very lines in her comment section.

And she wrote back a very simple, yet very powerful response:

Dive in.

Dive in, she said. 

And I realized right then and there that I hadn't been diving in.  I thought I was, but I wasn't. I really wasn't.  I was more like dipping my toe in at the edge of the water and maybe once in a while, I was hanging out up to my knees.  

But I wasn't diving in.

And I decided I should.  And ever since I did, let's just say, good things are happening. On the friend front.  And the blog front. 

With those two words, Braja was able to speak to my soul and show me something I wasn't seeing myself.  And that is what is so crazy unique about her writing space.  She has this gift to write about life to show us things we weren't seeing.

And that's why I'm hooked on her scene.

Now - Braja needs my prayers.  And although I've never "met" her and since we live on opposite ends of the earth, I'm not sure I ever will, I can honestly tell you that I'm diving in and sending up all kinds of prayers for her.  

And I hope you will too.  'Cause she's real like that.