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Saturday, March 14, 2009

Dive In

I consider myself a risk-taker.  Not a parachute jumping kinda risk-taker. Just someone who feels pretty comfortable with the general unknowns of life. I've worked as a freelancer my entire career and the thought of a steady job scares me in many ways.  Becoming a mom has forced me to "settle" more than I would have ever thought I would, but my brain is continually clicking towards some sort of new frontier - real or imagined.  

But yet, I admit I have fears. Don't we all? And these fears mildly gnaw at my insides keeping me from stepping forward at times.

When I started blogging, I didn't know what to expect.  I knew I wanted a creative outlet and that in itself scared the semi-creative person that I am. One of my greatest fears lies in this arena - putting my "creative" self out there for all to see - and maybe judge. 

I never realized or understood the social aspect of blogging. Before starting this writing space, I never spent any time at all meeting/connecting/re-connecting with anyone online in any capacity.  I'm a face-to-face person really. I love hanging with my friends in person and I love meeting new people - in person

The thought of "meeting" anyone that could be a "real" friend online seemed quite strange to me.  I guess I questioned the quality of it. And the general emphasis on quantity when it comes to blogging supports my original thought. 

Bloggers are into numbers, it seems, and really, I'm not that into numbers. Numbers don't drive me. I mean, it's cool when I get a lot of comments, but when I feel too busy to genuinely reply to each one, I feel well, kinda lame.

Let's just say, I'll take one quality interaction over ten surface ones.

So as I mellowly built this little place over here, I read comments from strangers and I wondered who they were, what they were really all about, why they came to my blog, what's on their blog, etc. etc.  And maybe I would email a little reply back, and then that was it.  Most often. 

And then sometimes they would send something back. But rarely. 

And I started to wonder if any of these people that I emailed with would actually move beyond just these little back and forth interactions that basically said....not much. Just little crafted comments to get a chuckle or express understanding or add a tidbit to the topic.  

I mean, can a relationship really be built on these quick faceless interchanges?

I started to wonder.

And then I read this. A post written by a woman a lot of bloggers know.  Her name is Braja and her blog is a special place called Lost and Found in India: Notes from a Waylaid Spiritualist.

This post I read was about her "imaginary" friends that she had met through blogging and how real they had become in her life. And she offered proof to her IRL friends who doubted that these blogging friends were real that they were indeed very real.

And I remember reading this post and thinking, "Wow, so this chick named Braja has this. These real friends she met through blogging. I wonder if that will ever happen to me."

And I wrote something along those very lines in her comment section.

And she wrote back a very simple, yet very powerful response:

Dive in.

Dive in, she said. 

And I realized right then and there that I hadn't been diving in.  I thought I was, but I wasn't. I really wasn't.  I was more like dipping my toe in at the edge of the water and maybe once in a while, I was hanging out up to my knees.  

But I wasn't diving in.

And I decided I should.  And ever since I did, let's just say, good things are happening. On the friend front.  And the blog front. 

With those two words, Braja was able to speak to my soul and show me something I wasn't seeing myself.  And that is what is so crazy unique about her writing space.  She has this gift to write about life to show us things we weren't seeing.

And that's why I'm hooked on her scene.

Now - Braja needs my prayers.  And although I've never "met" her and since we live on opposite ends of the earth, I'm not sure I ever will, I can honestly tell you that I'm diving in and sending up all kinds of prayers for her.  

And I hope you will too.  'Cause she's real like that.

16 comments:

  1. Hi Lee-

    Em pointed this woman and her family out to me, and I have been following her story...sad.

    But what an interesting woman, and life. Humbling.

    Jay

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  2. That was one of my favorite posts of Braja's, and one that I keep going back to when I try to explain my blogging life to my family and friends. No one "gets" it, but I am so glad you do. Have been sending non-stop prayers and thoughts of strength her way ever since I heard. Thank you for the reminder of HER reminder...I'm off to practice my dive.

    P.S. Check your e-mail for my latest attempt. Hope it's not a "belly flop." :)

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  3. She is very wise indeed. I hope she felt all of the love and prayers that were sent to her yesterday.

    People who don't interact socially on line, don't seem to undertand the powerful connection people have through words. I am grateful for all of my friends who live inside my computer.

    I too, feel badly when I can't comment on all the people that I follow. I try to do it daily , but damn its tough.

    I will keep praying for Braja, her husband, and the taxi driver. They need all the love they can get

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  4. what an amazing writer and gentle soul (braja, not you. well, you, too, but i had never been to her blog before!) thanks for pointing me in her direction and my thoughts and prayers are with her and her husband. i guess we might as well face it... we are a community. blogkind, as a wise FRIEND of mine once said.

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  5. You are such a remarkable writter with such a clear voice. I love reading every word.

    I will visit Braja. Because you tell me too. And I like a bossy friend.

    I say dive in. And I say do a dang cannon ball while you are at it.

    :)

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  6. i was just introduced to braja yesterday by another blogger who also relayed the sad circumstances + her need for prayers. i am also sending up tons of prayers for her.

    i wanted to thank you for sharing what you did prior to the request for prayers. i have been in this flux lately, just hanging in the balance really. in both of my lives, online + offline. i have been somewhat afraid to make a move + fully immerse myself. i have been holding back. and dive in is just what i needed to hear. with those two words, you have now changed me, hopefully forever.

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  7. Like how you put this. I really do feel a connection to bloggers. It is something that a lot of 'real' people don't understand but I get so much from this blogging world, I really really do.

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  8. I love you, my bloggy friend - and not just with my toes!!

    Sending loads of love and hope to Braja, her husband and their driver - she is an amzing woman (and you are too)

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  9. Lee I love reading your blog, and look forward to your comments on mine. I would call you my blogging friend...that is if you accept :) best wishes to braja...I am going to check her page out now...thanks for connecting me and others to so many rightgeous links, causes, and sites...you truly rock!

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  10. Is this a Casio review is disguise? LOL

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  11. I'm glad you dove in, too! :)
    It amazes me how she has connected with so many bloggers and how closely. She is an inspiration in many ways.

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  12. I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


    Miriam

    http://www.craigslistposter.info

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  13. I have heard of her! Such a shame! She will be in my thoughts.

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  14. Hey Lee!

    Diving in is alot easier said than done. When you post about your life and the trials you go through often you find yourself wondering... should I edit that? should I keep that private? Why do I need to write about this?

    THe answers to those questions can only be found within yourself... I don't write a "humor blog" (although sometimes I wonder if it isn't a cosmic joke), instead I write about my reall life experiences and the emotions that go with them... sometimes its funny and other times its just real. I don't do it for the readers, at least not mostly, I do it for myself... its blog-therapy :)

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  15. I love that Braja said "dive in" and that's it.

    The only thing I don't like about diving in is the fear that I might never see all of you in real life. That makes me sad. I really wish there were an easy way to gather in one place. :)

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  16. I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


    Miriam

    http://www.craigslistposter.info

    ReplyDelete

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