"Conversations with My Kid" Friday - A New Feature

I know everyone is dying to read Part Two of The Mime Trilogy and believe you me, it's coming. I just want to give those peeps who have been too busy to read this blog some time to catch up. So if you want to get in on the mime frenzy that is currently spreading throughout the blogosphere, click here to read Part One.

For now, I've decided to launch something new over here. The idea came to me this morning and before I get too lazy to implement it, I'm gonna hit publish and get this rolling.

Last Friday, I published a little story that Claire wrote and it really made me smile. And maybe it made like six of you smile. So that's cool. And today I want to share another Claire story that has been making me smile for the last 16 hours or so.

And the story from yesterday was a conversation I had with Claire. Sometimes I stop in my busy tracks and wonder if I really did converse with any of my kids on any given day. You know? When I am having an actual conversation with my kids listening to their words, I realize I am present. And aren't we all always working on being more present? I sure am.

I thought, I want to remember more of these sweet conversations. Where I get real insight into their brains.

So I was thinking that every Friday, I'm gonna share a conversation I had with my kids that made me laugh, cry, think, whatever. I'm thinking these conversation posts will be short and sweet and will simply help me remember these precious interactions that happen every single day but then slip away into the corners of my mind making it tough for me to recall the beauty of each and every one. (or hardly any of them for that matter.)

I'm not sure what I'm gonna call this little Friday event but I'll come up with something by next week. And I'll even have Mr. Linky up next Friday. I mean, is Mr. Linky still the industry standard? Or has something cooler come along? Let me know.

This way, I figure I can click around and get to know a little more about your kids. I mean, your kids are cool, right? And they say awesome things? And we are kinda like uh, mommy bloggers? In a loose sense of the term. And we like to talk about our kids sometimes, right?

So, let's try this thing.

For now, let's call it "Conversations with My Kid" Fridays. Is that lame? Someone help me.

Here we go:

•••••••••••••••••••

Yesterday, Claire, 7, was doing her Social Studies homework. She had to color this packet of papers stapled together to tell a story about Martin Luther King Jr. I was, once again, in the kitchen doing God knows what and I said -

"Whatcha doing Claire?"

"I have to color this book about Martin Luther King Jr."

"Oh yeah? You've been learning about him, huh?"

"Yep."

"What have you learned about him?"

Still coloring and not looking up, Claire says "I learned that he had a dream."

"What was his dream?"

"His dream was that white people and black people could live together."

And then she paused but before I could say anything she added, "I don't think that's a very good dream."

"It's not?" I asked.

"Nope...

....My dream is to have a horse ranch. And that's a way better dream than his."

••••••••••••••••

If you have a "Conversations with My Kid" story you are sharing today or have shared recently or something that resembles one, leave the link in the comments and I'll come check it out.

Happy Friday!

How to Stop Your Kid from Sucking a Pacifier, Sucking a Bottle, Sucking a Thumb, Sucking on your Boob, etc. etc. etc.

Written by Lee

So yes. I was scared as hell to become a mother. 

But despite my deep-seeded fear that God did not cut me out of mother-making material, I couldn't quite embrace the loads of parenting books that new mamas sometimes like to sink their insecure teeth into.  All the words I read as I tried to at least make it through the good ol' standards "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and "What to Expect the First Year" were just that....words.  Words that were just not doing the trick for me.  Words that were not sinking in. Words that just kept bouncing off my brain and back onto the page.  I'm sure there were plenty of good words in there somewhere.  These words were simply not resonating within me.  

And even though I am the first person to admit my weaknesses as a mama (hell, the whole reason this blog was created was because of my struggles in the mothering arena) I think that turning away from parenting books in general was actually an early sign of the kind of mother I was going to be.  And it reflects what I believe to be one of my greatest strengths as a person and it has ultimately saved my ass on this journey of mothering.

And that strength is the ability to listen to and to trust my inner voice.  Me.  My gut.

And in the upside-down whirldom of motherhood, the gut is pretty damn powerful.  And it's the one thing I think that's gotten buried in the midst of modern mama information overload.  And that's not to say that there is not some extremely worthwhile and essential information out there. Sure there is. There's simply too much of it.  

So my defense to information overload is to block out the chatter and look within.  The answer usually lies there.  For me.  And for my kids.  

And isn't that all that really matters?

Claire, my oldest, loved her pacifier deep and true. And as she got older, her "paci" needs grew. From one to three. One for the mouth, one to hold under her nose to uh, smell, and one to hold in one hand and squeeze between her fingers.  By the time she was two-years-old, she needed ALL of them to put her to sleep.  And holy shit, you can imagine the chaos that ensued if for some reason, one of the three was missing.  

By the time Claire hit three, many of my friends around me with kids the same age were starting the "pacifier removal" process. And some friends who had older kids would tell me what they did to get rid of the pacifier so to help Claire and I in our sure-to-be painful journey of pacifier riddance.  I observed, and listened, but in my gut, I heard, "What's the big deal? She surely won't be sucking a pacifier forever."  

So I let it go.  I let the pacifier trinity that was Claire's soothing system reign. And I didn't worry about it.  

And one day when Claire was a little over 5-years-old, I brought her pacifiers to her at bedtime like I had done a thousand times before and she said simply "I don't need them anymore. I'm done." 

And she was. 

And I left the room with her pacifiers in my hand and I cried.  'Cause it happened so damn fast. It was over.  

A topic that had literally consumed friends of mine and one that will consume many more mothers I am sure.  Gone.  In a flash.  With no warning.  No signs. She was bigger all of a sudden.  And she knew it was time.

And I'm not saying I'm a hero for letting it all happen that way.  I'm just saying that I think we need to remember that listening to our guts and not to everyone else who surely has a reason why MY kid needs to stop sucking her pacifiers.  

I think I am most successful as a mother when I listen to my inner voice and let go.  And usually what happens next is what's supposed to happen. The organic path.  I truly believe that.  

It's all of the plotting and stomping and and tricking and battling and reasoning and talking and pleading and bargaining and negotiating that I think is nuts. Especially when it comes to emotional matters for kids. Like sucking things. That sucking stuff is personal. It's intimate. It's comforting. It's expression. It's need.

I know there will be plenty of people who might very well make all kinds of arguments as to why I'm crazy for letting this sucking stuff take its natural course.  And I welcome those arguments of course.  I simply would like to present this as food for thought...

... "We're over-thinking it." 

Being a mother has been the most single most surprising experience of my life and it never stops with its shock value.  In many ways, I am the kind of mother I never thought I would be. Like I'm a mother of a 25-month-old little dude who is not too interested in stopping nursing. I never thought I would be "that mom." But I am. And I'm listening to my gut on this one too.

One day sometime soon, sooner than I would like, he will tell me in his own way that he doesn't need it anymore. He's done. 

And despite the people around me who I'm sure have their own thoughts about my nursing a 2-year-old, I will probably cry when it's over.  'Cause it will all have ended so. damn. fast.

So how do you stop a kid from sucking the stuff he or she loves and craves to suck on?  I say, in most instances, let it go.  The sucking is gonna stop.  It really will.  That's what my gut tells me. And it hasn't let me down so far.

Who says my kids are good for nothing? Not me!

Written by Lee

I've been feeling a bit negative in my brain about the whole kids/parenting thing. Like "why are my kids so crazy, I must be a lousy mom" type of brain stuff.  

And I'm tired of it.  

So tonight I am diving deep into the crevices of the thing inside my skull to dig up some positive stuff about me and the kids.  Like surely they have given me so much, right?  Like I am so blessed to be given this perspective on life through the eyes of my innocent children, right? Like if I really take pause and ponder the wonderment of my existence, my noggin will give me example after example of how my life is better because of them, right?

I'm trying here.

Bear with me.

So even though I could give you plenty o' BIG, IMPORTANT examples of how friggin' beautifully life-changing they have been to me as a woman and a soul on this planet, there is one shining thing that is distinctly different in my life because of my children that I simply can not ignore tonight.

These.

Really now.  What about these?

This topic may circle the arena of TMI but I'm too tired to care.  

Before having kids, this little slick plastic box was never seen sitting near our toilets.  Now, I can not imagine life without it.  And if that slick little plastic box goes empty, holy holy.  Let's not talk about that.

It's amazing to me that more adults do not understand the value and necessity of these flushable wipes. Before kids, I, too, was utterly clueless about what I was missing.

Now I will say that my dude was a bit more dialed-in to the need for something moist in the bathroom arena. Whenever we were in Europe together and we spotted a bidet in our travels, he would say "Hey honey, check this concept out. They're really onto something here."  And I would nod my head in semi-understanding but not really understanding.  How could I?

That dry toilet paper always seemed to work uh, just fine.

But once I had kids, it didn't take me long to notice the practicality and power of wipes. I mean, I wouldn't imagine wiping one of my kid's asses with just toilet paper, like cleaning a diaper with toilet paper? HUH?, so the next logical step in my thinking was why not maybe, just maybe, utilize these wipes as adults?

Now, I'm not saying a diaper is in any way remotely comparable to well, you know, so whatever. You get the point though, don't you?

During potty training, my girls insisted on using wipes when I helped them after going you know, Number Two. (Okay typing that felt so weird to me but whatever. I am totally on a roll here so just leave me alone.)  It was like they were used to the feeling of moist wipes from when they were infants and using toilet paper just seemed so rough.  And of course they were RIGHT!

So they were the ones who inspired the whole looking into the flushable wipes thing and well, the rest is history.

Now I know from experience that there are many many many adults that do not use flushable wipes for themselves or their kids and they even think I am bit strange for having them sitting in both of our bathrooms.  But you know what?  I truly believe you are missing out.

Flushable wipes have crazily impacted my daily existence and they are one of the many gems, yes, real treasures, given to me by my children.  

So there.  I hope your eyes have been opened to the pure joy of it all. 

You can thank me later.

DISCLAIMER:  This post was not sponsored in any way, shape, or form by Cottonelle. I feel the need to say this these days and maybe I shouldn't but whatever.  I love Cottonelle wipes and will defend them to the grave but they did not encourage or bribe me to say these things.  But if, by some ridiculous reason, they are reading, I will of course start accepting bribes now.  I want BIG cash so I can pay all of my contributing writers.  Is anyone reading the small print?  Whoever is reading this, the cash is yours.  If I ever get any.