Craigslist, Good People, and Dave Matthews

Written by Lee

I've written before in this post about strangers how I generally have a clean slate mentality about people in life.  Like why not give them the benefit of the doubt? Like most people cruising around the world truly are good people so why not operate from that belief instead of assuming that people are out to screw you.  

Well, even though I try to put my clean slate foot forward, there have been plenty of instances where life has thrown me a curve ball and I realize that my trusting instinct has become jaded. In my recent Expressing Motherhood performance, I actually spoke about this very aspect of life for me - becoming skeptical about the intention of others.  

As a mother, the pressure and responsibility I have to set forth a set of beliefs and a course of action to my kids comes into sharp focus.  Do I want them to first question the validity, intentions, and safety of the situation or do I want them to first believe that all is right in the world and to move forward with trust?  

I know parents who constantly remind their kids of the potential evil lurking around the corner and that any stranger could mean danger.  I've made a conscious decision not to over-enforce the concept of "stranger-danger" because I want my kids to feel safe walking in their world. 

Their world.  

Sure, I want them to be aware. And to use good judgement. But if a child can not skip through their neighborhood park feeling carefree and safe, then I feel they are being robbed of an essential childhood right.  Of course as their mama, I am right behind them watching my kids skip carefree through the park but I don't want to burden them with heavy thoughts as they live in their bubble of youth. The bubble of optimism and trust and faith in humankind.

As an adult who has traveled wide and lived fairly long, my bubble of optimism has been poked and prodded and busted a time or two, but when a new situation presents itself to me, I try to pump up my bubble and start fresh.  And more often than not, the stars align and the good people of the universe pull through to show me that having faith in them is indeed the way to go.

Case in point:

I love Dave Matthews. I just dig that dude and his tunes. I've had plenty of epic DMB live moments including one exceptional one on a warm Las Vegas October night at the first Vegoose music festival.  Whenever Dave comes to Los Angeles for a show, I usually drag my dude there to dance with me.  Next week DMB will cruise into town to play his first concert ever at the memorable Greek Theater in the Hollywood Hills.  My man and I have shared many a musical adventure under the stars at the Greek so I knew I did not want to miss this show.

Now being an overwhelmed mama of three, I never ever have it together enough to actually buy tickets when they go on sale.  I rely on Craigslist for all of our late concert ticket buying. There's been plenty of bad press on all kinds of Craigslist evil and for good reason.  But when it comes to people selling tickets to concerts, I have had nothing but good luck.

So this past weekend when I started my DMB ticket search for next week's show, I had my usual high hopes that I would get decent seats for a decent price.  What I didn't expect was to find another soul out there who had a little of his own faith in humankind.

When this particular seller and I had agreed that he had what I wanted to buy, we tried to coordinate the exchange.  Tickets for cash.  But after a couple phone calls and some busy weekend plans, we were having trouble finding a time to make it happen.  

And that's when he said - "Hey, why don't you just give me your address and I'll send you the tickets? When you get the tickets, you can send me a check.  You sound like a trustworthy person."

Well, right. on.

Yesterday, my tickets arrived in the mail. I emailed him to let him know that I received them and I told him I will put a check in the mail for him today.  And I will. And he knew that.  And I knew the tickets he would send would be good for some groovin' under a warm September LA sky.

And you know what?

That's exactly how the world should work.  And I think it does work that way most of the time when I let it.  

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Summer has taken its toll over at MWOB.  But Fall promises a new and improved scene over here. My kids start school tomorrow and within the next two weeks, we will have a plan in action for posting and some new stuff to reveal.  Thanks to all of the killer faith-filled MWOB readers. This little community is alive and well. :-)

Hanging with Strangers

Written by Lee

I'm a clean slate kind of person.  I believe that most everyone deserves a clean slate. Meaning when I first meet someone I assume the best.  That they are cool. They can be trusted. And that they will be nice to me.  

Call me smart or call me stupid.  You decide.

It's just that I've found that if I operate from this mental and emotional place, I feel that adventures open up to me.  And I'm all about adventures in life.  Why the hell not?  What else is there to do? I want my life's memory to include many random adventures. And if they are spontaneous ones, then all the better.

I have found that my clean slate mentality has served me well especially during travel when I am meeting strangers. I'm generally a believer that if I don't meet some strangers when I travel I'm missing the point.  

My clean slate mentality has definitely gotten me into some what some may perceive as "sketchy" situations but I also believe in my gut.  And I think when I meet a generally good person, I can tell.  

This clean slate approach took me on my very first international trip at the optimistic age of 21 to the outskirts of Florence to an apartment complex of a random Italian dude. I danced in his living room to like REO Speedwagon or something ridiculous like that and ate cheese and drank wine with him.  After a couple of hours, he drove me back into town and dropped me off at the pensione I had arranged for my night's stay.  

In Israel a local entrepreneur-type character befriended me and two girlfriends (one who was convinced he was a serial killer).  Over the course of two days in Tiberias he took us all over the city in his jeep, high into the hills over the Sea of Galilee and introduced us to locals at a party at his place.  

In Maui, a ragtag older weathered surf dude encouraged my dear friend and I to try surfing (remember?) so he took us to his place, picked out a long board for us and took us out to some mellow waves to give it a whirl.   

In Romania, some local dudes took me and my friends to a hidden gem of a local restaurant to feast on their speciality version of the staple food of mamaglia, a polenta-type loaf.  A restaurant off-the-beaten track that I would have never have found as a "tourist."

On the sands of Venice Beach, a dude from Ghana approached me on a warm early day as I laid out in my thong bikini reading a book (yes, I was in my 20's). He wanted to chat and offered to give me a massage.  I thought "What the hell? A massage would feel damn good right about now."  So I took him up on his offer and you know what?  The massage was awesome, the conversation was fascinating and we even smoked a joint together to cap off our hang.

The list goes on and on for me.  

Now some of you may read this and think "SUCKER!  All of those dudes just wanted to get you in bed!"  And you know what?  Maybe you are right.  But none of them tried. There may have been a few hints here and there but I was upfront and honest about my intentions and all was good in the end.

I do believe there's always an element of luck in life.  No doubt about it.  If one of these strangers had been a "bad person" the story would have been very different.  Obviously. And my slate would no longer be clean.

But I believe the point is ... what IS the point? 

The point is that I trust my gut.  I have faith that the majority of people out there cruising the world are generally good people.  And I have a firm belief in engaging with people in the world around me. 

My life is way richer because of it.

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Speaking of strangers and a richer life, see that button up there at the top of the sidebar? It's a scene called BlogHer.  And although I was a little nervous to dive in, I will be there, along with a new friend/stranger, representin' our little corner of the blogoverse.  

And I'm certain there will be adventures.

I figure if I can travel through Bulgaria into Turkey alone on a rickety bus, I can surely navigate my way through a host of conference rooms at some hotel in Chicago.  

Right?

And if you happen to be a BlogHer kind of blogger, check out our blog designer, Nap Warden, who has submitted an idea to host a tutorial on Blog Design in BlogHer's Geek Lab sessions. She needs people who would be interested in attending her session to go over and vote for her. Even though she may be a stranger to you, and she's almost a stranger to me, I encourage you to go vote for her.  

So all you other strangers who will be wandering the halls of the Sheraton Towers, anyone up for wearing a thong and giving each other massages?  Or does that sound weird?