To the Cool Person who Writes The Awesome New Blog I Just Discovered

I love the rambling path of the blogosphere. How I can follow a few clicks and find myself standing on completely foreign terrain.

I feel like I'm on adventure. I almost feel like I've hopped on a plane and landed in a distant land with all kinds of new things to discover.

I see that you are the creator of this blog I just found. I love the design. It's so fresh. I've never seen anything quite like it.

I love your photographs. They are vibrant and alive. They give me such an intimate peek into your life. The view is one I have never seen before but it's familiar all at the same time.

Your words resonate with me. Crisp, smart, heartfelt. After reading what you have written, I look at my own life and I somehow feel better about it. A smile is on my face and I feel a rush of appreciation for my many blessings.

I clicked around your site and read your "About" page. Your journey has been so different than mine. You live in snow. Your kitchen has granite countertops. You seem so organized. You seem like a kind soul. You have many children. You stay at home. You seem at peace about it. You are what I could never be and I need to come back and read more from you.

Whew. You have a subscribe button that can easily be found. I click.

Should I add you to my Google homepage or my Google reader? Although the homepage is always tempting, I decide on directing you to my reader of course. That is where all of my faves live.

I hope you find some good company in my reader. Gems are there. Hidden and not so hidden. Words and feelings and stories....all hanging out side by side just waiting to be read. I'm not sure if you will like how long your links will stay bold in my reader.

You see, the sun is shining and the grass is green. And my little boy with his blonde tousled hair is calling for me with a sparkle in his blue eyes.

I have genuinely loved visiting you but it's time to close the lid on this world for today.

I really honestly don't know if I will ever see you again. But I hope you know I will remember our time together. No matter how brief.

And I hope you know my intentions were good.

Are you wondering where blogging might lead you?

Yeah me too.

I stepped onto the path of blogging with not a clue which direction to go except forward. It's been almost a year and a half since I took my first step. And the only way I can really describe the path I have walked so far? Mine.

If you blog, you most likely blog for a variety of reasons with intentions and goals that come into focus and then fade away seconds later it seems. It can get confusing. I've second-guessed myself, doubted myself, wondered what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. And then on the flip side, I have had moments of pure clarity and confidence where the answer as to why I blog becomes as clear as day.

I've hit a groove recently. Maybe I'm just getting more comfortable in my blogging skin. I've grown accustomed to the ups and downs of this blogging game, and I guess more than anything I've feel comfortable in my own stride.

So...I'm sitting in a hotel room in Chicago right now.

I've spent the evening hanging with women I know, women I've heard of, women I've never heard of but now I know. And everyone here that I've spoken to seems to feel comfortable in their own blog stride too. We know the answers are not written clearly for us to see each and every day. As to why we spend what seems like way too much time on the computer. We each have different goals and visions and strategies and reasons why we left our kids and hopped on a plane to be here. But we're all walking our own path. Together.

When I think about what makes my life meaningful to me, it's always shakes down to my relationships. The people in my life and the quality of my relationships with them is what makes me tick. And what gives my life texture and depth and purpose. People.

If there's one definitive thing I have learned about my blogging life is that the same rule applies. Relationships are what makes blogging meaningful. And it's what gives my online life texture and depth and purpose. People.

Yep. Online people are real people. And the only reason I am here is because of a blogging relationship. A real person who was cool enough to open up this opportunity to me.

So I guess the point of this ramble tonight is to say if you're wondering where blogging might lead you, it's no different really than thinking about where life might lead you. It's all uncertain. And that's the fun of it. But while I'm wandering around living and blogging, I sure as hell want to create some cool relationships along the way.

And as long as I can end up at the end of the road with a few friends by my side, I think the journey will have been worthwhile.

What Blog Conference Should You Attend?

Yep, it's that time of the year it seems. The conference chatter emanating from bloggers can be heard throughout the land. It's practically keeping me up at night. Can you all just simmer down?

Where should I go? What should I spend the money I don't have on?

BlogHer? Blissdom? Evo? Mom 2.0? SiTscation? Type A? Type B? O Positive? Cupcake?

Really, there's a blogging gathering called Cupcake?

Well... there is now.

My dear bloggy friend, Heather, and my new friend, Steph, inadvertently started a brand spankin' new conference concept in blogging.

And it's all the rage.

This past weekend, I got my So Cal soul on a plane and headed to the winter wonderland of Madison, Wisconsin for the inaugural Cupcake 10. (Considering the zero-ish temps in Wisconsin and after taking a nice slip on the ice in downtown Madison while hanging onto the one-and-only Maggie, I think this gathering should have been called "Iced." Still references cupcakes too.)

You see, Heather and Steph had come up with the brilliant idea of hosting a low-key blogging event where there was no formal agenda, no sessions, no cocktail attire, and most importantly, no need to hide behind your laptop or escape into your iPhone screen or do that weird thing that people do when they tweet right in the middle of when they are talking to you.

So they rented this place nestled on a mellow hill about 30 minutes outside of Madison....

...and 30 cool women converged on the place with so much food and drink that we could have stayed there for a week and never left.

For what was entirely too short of a weekend, we hung out and really talked to one another and shared pieces of who we really are without the anxiety and the games of those bigger conferences where you leave with your head spinning wondering if you really learned anything or if you really even talked to anyone for more than 3 minutes and 12 seconds.

The group was diverse as each soul there had her own reason for writing, for blogging, for coming, for being. As a group, we all sat in a circle spellbound, listening as each voice shared a story entirely unique but yet at the same time felt strangely familiar. I could have sat there all night just listening. These women inspire me.

And there was time for a freezing stroll at sunset to soak in the warmth of my surroundings....

...and time to continue building on friendships forged in a forum that not everyone understands but the relationships are real just the same.

Me and Ann

So if you're wondering what blogging conference you should attend, I think you should see if there is a Cupcake-y kind of event coming your way.

For me, after this kind of weekend, I'm not sure any other kind of blogging gathering will suffice.

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A huge thank you to Heather, Steph and all of the chicks who had to clean up that house as I rushed off to the airport to catch my plane. I'll pay you back at the West Coast gathering.

And really, I'm planning on spearheading a West Coast "Cupcake" effort. And I'm taking ideas for what we should call the gathering. Wanna come?

There are Moms WITH Blogs that Support Moms WITHOUT Blogs - HOORAY!!

My life is full. And I'm happy about it.

But with my recent jump back into the almost full-time workforce, my brain swirls daily on all there is to do and the time there is NOT to do it.

So bills slip closer to being paid late, the refrigerator isn't stocked as full as it usually is, the house isn't as clean, laundry falls behind, the dogs get walked less and all. that. jazz.

The time I do have at home is spent loving on my kids and my man.

And my blogging life? Hanging on by a thread. And the thought has passed through my mind that maybe I need to take a good long break. I mean, priorities are priorities after all.

But then I'll wake up to an email in my MWOB inbox from another mom saying she digs our space and maybe, just maybe, we'll let her into our fold. And I smile. And I remember why I started this space and why I love it. And why I need it. And why I think I'll always find the time to keep it alive.

So today on our Affiliate Friday, I am featuring ALL of our affiliates. The moms WITH blogs who have taken the time to post a MWOB badge of support saying they recognize the voices of moms WITHOUT blogs and they support our mission.

So here's the assignment:

Scroll through this list, see what blog peaks your interest that you have never heard of before or you don't read, and click on over there and check it out. We are a community after all. In a very real sense of the word.

If you have emailed me and you are not listed here, I am simply behind. I promise to give you some time to shine over here.....I hope you can cut me some slack.

If you are not an "official" affiliate but you love us, give us your blog link in the comments and we'll check you out. Or consider affiliating with us. We would love to have you. I know I have seen our badge around the blogosphere without some of those blogs emailing me to get on our official list. We dig all the support. But we'd love to expose you to our readers so let me know if you want to join the scene.

On this Friday, I simply want to say thanks. To all of you who keep me going over here. And for your voices.

The Affiliates of Moms Without Blogs

Nature Lovin' Super Mama
An honest, fresh, natural perspective from the Tip of the Mitt, Michigan

from a nature loving mama who's walking the crazy path and enjoying

all the adventures that go along with it.

Tiptoeing Through The Tulips

I blog about my kids... the especially needy one who is Deaf and Tube Fed

and the normal cute one...AND...

...I drink and swear.

(From Lee: I checked this chick out. Her kid was born with the same issue (CDH) that Karen of MWOB's miracle child was. Her blog is raw and honest and I love it.)

Swirl Girl's Pearls

"It may not always be real pretty, but it will always be pretty real."

Under the Influence
In a previous life, also known as "before children", I was under the influence
of many different agents, some legal, some not.
Now that I'm all grown up, I am under the influence of motherhood,
marriage and suburban hell, oops, I mean suburban life.
And I'm blogging about it.
(From Lee: I've been reading this blog since the beginning of my journey here.
She's real, funny, and smart. Check her out.)

Blog-Ignoramus

"Ignorance is Bliss"

The Extraordinary Ordinary

An illuminating place where honest and beautiful writing celebrates

the extraordinary in our ordinary lives as women and mothers.

(From Lee: I wrote this for Heather 'cause she was having a hard time with

the description of her blog. I hope it does her blog justice.

Her space IS extraordinary and is a must-visit.)

Inspiration Can Be Found Everywhere

You just never know what will inspire a person to face the day….but I do so try.

We all need to be reminded that when one door closes –

there WILL be another that opens

(even if it’s just a window).

Zook Book Nook

Crafting motherhood and writing together in the same pen stroke.

Life Makes Me Laugh
An eternal optimist's view on life - there is always a silver lining
even if you have to search through a hundred yards of fabric to find it.


Karrie McAllister
Mother, writer, dirt-lover
(From Lee: This Ohio mom is one interesting chick and smart writer. Check her out.)

Weekly Jules

"Something new to laugh about every week!"

Jules is a mother of four who never knits, rarely bakes but always

appreciates a good laugh.

A Day in the Life
A mom of two in suburban Canada, trying to stay urban,

and blogging with coffee and/or drinks in hand while waxing poetic about life.

Dude, Where am I?

This blog is Loren Christie's concrete attempt to write daily and features:

- insane ramblings of talking animals
- various attempts at fiction
- serious personal essays about Loren's Catholic faith journey and childhood

AND
- records of her role as SAHM to three young children so she can better understand why she's totally lost her mind.

(From Lee: I met Loren in an elevator in Chicago at BlogHer '09.

She's cool, unique and smart. Read this to see what I'm talking about.)


Piece of Cake
A Los Angeles mom of four bringing you witty, humorous, heartfelt stories
from the trenches of motherhood.
(From Lee: Not only is she a talented writer and photographer, Laura also bakes and decorates
insane cakes out of her family kitchen. Her blog is a must visit. Seriously.)




Boy Crazy
A realistic optimist searching for clarity in the chaos,
Boy Crazy writes with wit and raw honesty as a mother of three,
a lover of life, and a teller of stories.
(From Lee: She's a new fave. Her description says it all.)

Not Too Sticky

Well, Okay Sassy Britches

She's a 30-something NON-mom WITH blog giving you

your daily dose of whimsy mixed with thinking too much!

(From Lee: But when Sassy DOES become a mom, she is so the MWOB mentality.)

So Sue Me!

A kinda funny blog about a semi-single mom

and her adventures in dating, life, and work.

Not A Stepford Wife's Blog

Family, chaos, parenting, marriage, kids, motherhood, society...

its all fair game for the Domestic Goddess as she wraps it up in humour

and delivers it without any PC varnish.

Homeschooling, Non-Stepford Style

Prepare to let go of any perfectionist freak illusions

you may have about homeschoolers as the Domestic Goddess

welcomes you into the mayhem that is her homeschooling world.

(From Lee: I know. Homeschooling on MWOB? But she's the real deal.

I checked her out and she's crazy just like us.)

Stir Crazy in the Suburbs

"Where they all become Volvo Driving Soccer Moms"

Vegetarian Mama

A fun exploration of how to incorporate more veggies into your day to day life,

with a splash of delicious desserts and earth-loving/money saving tips.

(From Lee: I know. It's a cooking blog. I grilled her and she assured me many of the

recipes are simple, so we're giving it a whirl.)

Soccer Mom Says

A Midwestern gal's journey through marriage, motherhood, and

everything in between.

Starting Over

A blog about a family starting life in Charleston, SC

Hardcore Housewife

A blog about what it's like making it in the "real" world of family life

and higher education after a 20-year-long punk adolescence.

BlogHer '09, Kitten Heels, Spreadsheets, Cocktail Dresses and Expectations....

Written by Lee

So this week I am taking my blogging life to an entirely new level.

Yep, I'm getting on a plane on Thursday morning and flying to Chicago for this blogging extravanganza called BlogHer '09 where I will get off the plane and meet one of my bloggy BFFs face-to-face for the first time and then we'll probably hug (?) and then share a taxi or something and then all of a sudden we'll be in a room together waking up and she'll start to learn about some of my quirky behavior and then I'll hope neither of us will regret being one of each other's bloggy BFFs and well, the rest will be some epic history filled with all kinds of weird and fantabulous meetings with strangers and blogging friends and eye-opening, enlightening sessions and never-ending chatting and mind-blowing parties and awkward social situations with people whom I would never be friends with in real life or people I would totally be friends with in real life and I just hope I run into those people and don't spend too much time with the other people and either I'll be so friggin' thrilled I got on that plane to take my blogging life to an entirely new level or I'll wonder why I ever thought it was going to be a good idea in the first place and that being a true mom without a blog is really what my destiny was supposed to be all along.

But really now...there's been so much damn talk about shoes to wear during BlogHer on Twitter this last week that I found myself sweating standing in a Macy's shoe department trying on some 4-inch "peep-toe" wedge-like shoe and trying to convince myself that I could actually look normal wearing those while meeting some of these strangers in some convention room while carrying on some meaningful or witty conversation when all I really would be thinking about is how much my feet friggin' hurt and why was I fooling myself thinking that this "peep-toe" wedge-like shoe would work?

I freaked out when this chick said she wanted to wear stillettos on Twitter and when I responded that I didn't have any desire to ever ever ever wear stillettos in my real life so where did that leave me, she tweeted me back suggesting I look into maybe a "kitten heel" and my only response which I didn't respond is "What the friggin' hell is a kitten heel and why have I never ever heard of one all of this time living this life of mine?"

I've read all kinds of posts about what to bring and what to wear and oh yeah, Tim Gunn is gonna be there at some Tide Booth judging all of us mamas who never get out in cocktail attire, and I've seen spreadsheets of bloggers who are mapping out their schedules hour by hour as to maximize their time and make sure they do everything they want to do and then that makes me realize I'm not really sure what I want to do except to maybe meet some cool people and chat like I'm myself and they are themselves and well, maybe make some "contacts" so that I can take my blogging life to an entirely different level. Like maybe the orange level 'cause as you know I dig orange and that seems like a good level at which to hover.

And well, it seems I've gotten a handle on the fact that there will be plenty of blogger chicks all gussied up for these uh, cocktail type parties and well, that left me thinking I should go buy some sort of party wear because I was reminded on my recent trip to Vegas that I'm not really a dress-up kind of chick but my friends did tell me I do have some sort of "style" which was good to know because I did wonder about that and they labeled me as sort of bohemian which I would never really think of myself being so take that for what it is worth.

So I did go dress shopping, again at Macy's because I tend to think I can get everything I ever need fashion-wise at Macy's (and take THAT for what it is worth) and well, I found a thing or two which I will wear so if you see me you will know that I bought it at Macy's. Except for one dress which I may wear on the first night because, back to Vegas, my girlfriends convinced me I looked good in this dress that I tried on late night at some MGM "boutique", and I use that term losely, after I had had a huge margarita and one expensive yummy clean shot of tequila, and well, in the dressing room I thought I looked okay too so I bought this wacked-out dress and well, I'll probably slap it on and wear it around and maybe some stranger will comment on it in front of or behind my back and that will be cool. Cause that's what's people do.

So Macy's or MGM dress. If you see me there, you can ask me which one I'm wearing if you want. Or not. Whatever.

I've learned in my life that expectations can be quite brutal for the soul. It's totally human nature to get all these expectations in your brain, but really what good does it do you? You expect your wedding day to be the most perfect day of your life and then when it's not, where does that leave you? So really I try to operate from a real kinda place where expectations are just something I let swish around in my brain but I try not to let any of those expectations really solidify.

So I'm not expecting too much.

I mean, the one thing I was expecting, which was to meet my very own blogging rock star, got all squished when her damn country where she uh, lives decided to hold her hostage. Okay, that may be a little too dramatic sounding but it's something like that. And now she won't be there. There ya go. Those damn expectations.

So now....any other expectations I had left lingering somewhere in my brain are being tossed out into the universe and I'm simply gonna jump onto that plane with some flip-flops on my west coast feet and take off on another unknown adventure in my life.

And that's the only thing I know it will be....an adventure.

Little Fish, Big Sea

Written by Lee

In high school, I wasn't the super-popular chick, the homecoming queen, the lead in the musical, the track team star, the valedictorian or anything spectacular like that.  But even though I wasn't THE best, let's just say I was one of the best.   

I was known by many, attended the homecoming dance, played many supporting roles in theater, ran the back stretch of the 4 x 100 relay team that competed in the state meet placing fourth, and my graduating GPA placed me like 10th out of class of near 600.  

I felt, I guess you could say, like a big fish in a little sea.  But I didn't even realize the sea was little then.  In retrospect I guess I felt like a big fish in a big sea.  

I remember pretty darn vividly what it felt like to go from my high school in Phoenix with my list of semi-decent achievements and enter my freshmen year at the University of Southern California. To leave a campus of over two thousand and walk around a campus of like thirty thousand. 

It didn't take me much longer than sitting in on a few of the classes in the college honors program that I somehow qualified for to realize uh, I'm not that smart.

I thought I wanted to major in drama, but after an acting class or two, I realized I'm not that talented. 

And even though I played four years of competitive soccer at USC, I realized even there, I'm not that good. 

It all hit me like a ton of bricks a few months into my freshmen year.  

I am totally and utterly average.  

Sure, there were plenty of people below me in a variety of ways, but there were also a bazillion people above me, ahead of me, just uh, bigger than me.

And with a huge dry gulp, I began my lifelong journey as a little fish. 

In a big, deep, thrashing, never-ending sea.

I've been reflecting on this big fish idea as I've cruised around in recent weeks reading all kinds of posts from what I would call bigger fish in the blogworld expressing feelings of disappointment and confusion as to where their community was heading with the onslaught of new blogs on the scene that focus on, I guess, the business side of mommy-blogging as opposed to the creative side of it.  I know that's boiling it down to one particular angle but it seems that's the general point of the stuff I've read. I've tried to understand where they're coming from, I really have, but I just don't get it.  

The way it seems to me is that, to put it simply, the sea is getting bigger and with all of these little fish swimming around, it's just tougher to be a big fish.  

Feeling like a big fish is cool.  It seems part of human nature to want to harness that big fish feeling.  Easier to swim amidst all those choppy waves.  

But when it all shakes down in the end, we all are little fish.  And I kinda wish we could all swim around together a little more peacefully.  

When I look at my three little ones cruising around in their small worlds, I am reminded of the natural transition that occurs as our brains twist and grow and we come to the intellectual realization someday that we are simply a pebble of sand on the beach of life.  

But emotionally, that's the rough part.  I think it's hard to wrap your heart and feelings around the fact that in the sea of life the one person that's really gonna care the most about you and make you feel like a big fish, even though you're not, is you.  But I think that's the truth.

There is so much in the current online social structure that is screaming at the part of us that innately yearns to be a big fish.  Again, the awards and the numbers and the followers.  Yada yada yada.  And not that long ago when the sea was much much smaller, it was a hell of a lot easier it seems to feel well, like a big fish.  

Now, I want to be clear.  I totally acknowledge the pioneers of this field.  The ones who paved the way and began settling the wild west of parent blogging.  I feel anyone who has been blogging since 2004 or earlier is one of those pioneers.  And right on to you.  And I don't even think you're average. You are actually way above average in my book. You harnessed an idea early on, created a community and became a sea of voices.  It's just getting a little harder to hear your voice with the rising din of all these fishy fins splashing around.

Basically the landscape is a' changing.  As it always does.  

Sometimes when I'm driving on the jam-packed freeways of Los Angeles with red brake lights and white headlights as far as the eye can see in all directions, I wonder how these gazillion drivers stuck behind their wheels think about their place in the grand scheme of things? Are they still holding out some hope that somewhere, someway, somehow, they will be a big fish? Even though the reality of their little fish existence is smacking them right in the middle of the forehead just beyond their windshield?

I look through the traffic and feel grateful that I already know I'm a little fish.  I had my revelation years ago and even though there have been times in my life when that big fish feeling came flooding into my being, I knew it was fleeting.  

It always is.

And really.  I'm totally and utterly fine with being a little fish.

You?