Written by Lee
Oh Lord, what would I do without the wisdom bestowed on me from my beloved Today Show?
Once again, I was buzzing around the kitchen doing all the stuff a morning in our home requires and all the while Matt and Meredith and Ann and Al were chattering away in the background about all things grand and small and I was just about to turn off the television (because do I really need to watch the umpteenth hour of the Today Show?) when I glanced up and saw two words that mean more to me than I ever thought they would - "Flat Belly."
And I dropped the dish towel on the counter and stood at full attention.
Now for those who have known me in a previous non-mothering, university student, twenty-something stage of my life, you would know that well, I had a flat stomach. And a rather toned one I might add. Due to a young life mainly centered around sports, more weight-lifting than I care to admit, and well, lots of stomach exercises, I had no problem strutting around in a bikini. And if a picture was happened to be snapped by someone while I was wearing said bikini? No problem.
Twenty years and three kids later and well, my stomach is currently in a state reminiscent of some sort of alien creature. I am both intrigued and frightened by it. On one hand, I can honestly admit that my glory days are so far gone that I feel an odd acceptance of my stomach's condition - a sort of badge of honor, if you will, of all that I have endured to grow and birth three 8+ pound babies. On the other hand, I have moments of complete and utter delusion where I believe that yes, I will return to my glory state and before I know it, I will be confidently cruising the beaches of So Cal with my three kids and bikini in tow.
So when that one female reporter from the Today Show who reminds me of a young Maria Shriver but whose name escapes me this very moment was interviewing some chick from Prevention magazine about the life-changing Flat-Belly Diet, I was spellbound.
In typical Today Show fashion, there's never enough time allotted to really get all of the information I want and need. So the reporter was rushing the Prevention lady through all of the secrets on how to achieve this flat belly that I so desire but through the hurried two-minutes I got the one main secret I needed to hear to really kick start the new flat belly me - "Sassy Water."
If I drink this fabulous concoction called Sassy Water (after some woman named Sassy who invented this miracle of a beverage) I could potentially lose 11 pounds and 5 inches off my waist in ONE WEEK!
Holy shit. Sign. me. up.
So I received this gift from the Today Show gods on Tuesday morning, drove from LA to Phoenix alone with my three kids on Wednesday, bought the ingredients for this sassy water in Phoenix today (Thursday) and as I write this post, I am sipping my first refreshing glass of flat belly spa water.
I will return to LA next Thursday so I figure by the time I see my dude again next week, I can arrive in our driveway and jump out of our mini-van in a bikini.
Who's with me?
To give proper ceremony to the beginning of my new/old life as a flat-bellied chick, I give to you a photo of the sassy water ingredients that I took in my parents' backyard in the middle of excruciating 110 degree desert heat. I thought the sunshine on the sassy water ingredients would just look divine.
Okay, I'm not sure divine describes the end result but it sure looks .... hot.
For all of you who are interested in jumping on the flat-belly bandwagon experiment, this is what you will need:
2 quarts water
Slice one lemon into thin slices. Peel and slice one cucumber (or half if it's a big cucumber) into thin slices. Pinch 12 mint leaves. And grate 1 teaspoon of ginger root with a fine grater. Dump all prepped ingredients into a pitcher, add two quarts water, gently stir, and let sit in refrigerator overnight.
Start drinking away. As much as you can stand. And avoid drinking all of that other stuff that won't help you achieve a flat belly like Diet Coke, alcohol, and cappuccinos.
So it's 10:30 pm here in Phoenix and it's 100 degrees outside. Right. Now. So that heat coupled with my sassy water should be all the kick-start my alien stomach needs.
I'll keep you posted.