BlogHer '09, Kitten Heels, Spreadsheets, Cocktail Dresses and Expectations....

Written by Lee

So this week I am taking my blogging life to an entirely new level.

Yep, I'm getting on a plane on Thursday morning and flying to Chicago for this blogging extravanganza called BlogHer '09 where I will get off the plane and meet one of my bloggy BFFs face-to-face for the first time and then we'll probably hug (?) and then share a taxi or something and then all of a sudden we'll be in a room together waking up and she'll start to learn about some of my quirky behavior and then I'll hope neither of us will regret being one of each other's bloggy BFFs and well, the rest will be some epic history filled with all kinds of weird and fantabulous meetings with strangers and blogging friends and eye-opening, enlightening sessions and never-ending chatting and mind-blowing parties and awkward social situations with people whom I would never be friends with in real life or people I would totally be friends with in real life and I just hope I run into those people and don't spend too much time with the other people and either I'll be so friggin' thrilled I got on that plane to take my blogging life to an entirely new level or I'll wonder why I ever thought it was going to be a good idea in the first place and that being a true mom without a blog is really what my destiny was supposed to be all along.

But really now...there's been so much damn talk about shoes to wear during BlogHer on Twitter this last week that I found myself sweating standing in a Macy's shoe department trying on some 4-inch "peep-toe" wedge-like shoe and trying to convince myself that I could actually look normal wearing those while meeting some of these strangers in some convention room while carrying on some meaningful or witty conversation when all I really would be thinking about is how much my feet friggin' hurt and why was I fooling myself thinking that this "peep-toe" wedge-like shoe would work?

I freaked out when this chick said she wanted to wear stillettos on Twitter and when I responded that I didn't have any desire to ever ever ever wear stillettos in my real life so where did that leave me, she tweeted me back suggesting I look into maybe a "kitten heel" and my only response which I didn't respond is "What the friggin' hell is a kitten heel and why have I never ever heard of one all of this time living this life of mine?"

I've read all kinds of posts about what to bring and what to wear and oh yeah, Tim Gunn is gonna be there at some Tide Booth judging all of us mamas who never get out in cocktail attire, and I've seen spreadsheets of bloggers who are mapping out their schedules hour by hour as to maximize their time and make sure they do everything they want to do and then that makes me realize I'm not really sure what I want to do except to maybe meet some cool people and chat like I'm myself and they are themselves and well, maybe make some "contacts" so that I can take my blogging life to an entirely different level. Like maybe the orange level 'cause as you know I dig orange and that seems like a good level at which to hover.

And well, it seems I've gotten a handle on the fact that there will be plenty of blogger chicks all gussied up for these uh, cocktail type parties and well, that left me thinking I should go buy some sort of party wear because I was reminded on my recent trip to Vegas that I'm not really a dress-up kind of chick but my friends did tell me I do have some sort of "style" which was good to know because I did wonder about that and they labeled me as sort of bohemian which I would never really think of myself being so take that for what it is worth.

So I did go dress shopping, again at Macy's because I tend to think I can get everything I ever need fashion-wise at Macy's (and take THAT for what it is worth) and well, I found a thing or two which I will wear so if you see me you will know that I bought it at Macy's. Except for one dress which I may wear on the first night because, back to Vegas, my girlfriends convinced me I looked good in this dress that I tried on late night at some MGM "boutique", and I use that term losely, after I had had a huge margarita and one expensive yummy clean shot of tequila, and well, in the dressing room I thought I looked okay too so I bought this wacked-out dress and well, I'll probably slap it on and wear it around and maybe some stranger will comment on it in front of or behind my back and that will be cool. Cause that's what's people do.

So Macy's or MGM dress. If you see me there, you can ask me which one I'm wearing if you want. Or not. Whatever.

I've learned in my life that expectations can be quite brutal for the soul. It's totally human nature to get all these expectations in your brain, but really what good does it do you? You expect your wedding day to be the most perfect day of your life and then when it's not, where does that leave you? So really I try to operate from a real kinda place where expectations are just something I let swish around in my brain but I try not to let any of those expectations really solidify.

So I'm not expecting too much.

I mean, the one thing I was expecting, which was to meet my very own blogging rock star, got all squished when her damn country where she uh, lives decided to hold her hostage. Okay, that may be a little too dramatic sounding but it's something like that. And now she won't be there. There ya go. Those damn expectations.

So now....any other expectations I had left lingering somewhere in my brain are being tossed out into the universe and I'm simply gonna jump onto that plane with some flip-flops on my west coast feet and take off on another unknown adventure in my life.

And that's the only thing I know it will be....an adventure.