Written by Kath
I was wondering if you could all help me out with something.
It seems as if my oldest child, my son, has gone missing. I’m not sure of the exact time he left, but I can’t find him anywhere. Maybe if I describe him, you can tell me if you’ve seen him around.
Eleven years ago, my sweet boy entered this world. After 12 hours of labor and 4 strong pushes, he single-handedly changed my world forever. He made me a mother and my life has never been the same since. Those early days together were certainly no picnic. The transition to motherhood was not an easy one for me. But we persevered.
When he was 6 weeks old he flashed his first real toothy grin at yours truly. It was the first time in my life that I thought my heart would literally burst from my chest and explode. Never before had I felt such love. It was amazing.
As he grew, we became the best of buddies. During our daily walks he would point out things he noticed. The tiny flowers growing at the base of the trees. The funny shape of clouds. The butterflies flitting in the garden.
I never knew I had been missing so much.
We loved trips to the zoo. We’d sit on a bench eating our favorite snack of "Chicken In A Biskit" while we watched the raccoon jump from tree to tree. Then we’d cruise over to the petting zoo where he could sit on a real (REAL!) John Deere tractor. Wow!
But our favorite thing to do was to pack a lunch and head out in search of a construction site. We’d sit and munch and discuss all things construction-ish. He taught me the difference between a crawler back-hoe and a front-loader back-hoe (yep, there is a difference). We clapped with utter joy when a large dump truck would dump its load. The sound was phenomenal!
After five years, my boy went on to all-day kindergarten and my world was rocked a bit. I missed our time together. I haven’t admitted this to many people (but we’re all family here, so what the heck). I would find excuses to run errands at just the very time he’d be out on the playground at recess. Yes, I would stalk my own child just to get a glimpse of him. I missed him that deeply.
Even with school, though, our bond continued. There were hugs and kisses at the end of the school day with lengthy discussions of everything that happened in his little life. I was there through the sports and scouts, cheering him on, being his number one fan.
But lately, I can’t seem to find my boy.
In his place, someone new has moved into our house. A complete stranger, really. This new boy isn’t fond of washing his hair. He’s sporting a smattering of pimples across his nose. After a particularly strenuous baseball practice when this boy gets in the car, it gets a little “gamey” (if you catch my “drift”). Windows are rolled down quickly for a gasp, er - breath of fresh air.
Without a doubt, the most difficult part of this new boy is that he thinks I’m a complete idiot. The eye-rolling and exasperated sighs in response to most anything I say (for instance, “Did you finish your math homework?”) is shocking to me. At times, he gets so frustrated explaining something to me (a real simpleton, I am!) that he just quits and walks away. Yep. He thinks I am a complete and utter idiot.
There was a moment during this past week when I thought I caught sight of my son. He had just scored a run for his team after having his first “major” league hit. As he ran into the dugout, his eyes scanned the bleachers until they met mine. Then he flashed me that amazing smile, similar to the one that made my heart want to burst 11 short years ago. But unfortunately, after the game, the “new guy” was back. *Sigh*
So, if any of you have seen my first-born, could you tell him to come home? Please? I miss him achingly.
Or if you have any advice on how to get him back, I'm all ears.