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Friday, February 20, 2009

A Conversation that Aged Me - Literally and Figuratively

Last night when The Love Fairy was the only one in the tub, she sat back down after I soaped her up and she slipped back slightly and gently bumped her head on the side.  After the little head bump, our conversation went a little something like this:

Love Fairy:  "Our bathtub is not as hard as yours is upstairs, mama , so I won't die when I bump my head on this bathtub, right?"

Me: "Of course you won't die honey, not from bumping your head like that!"

Then I remembered that my dude and I are always telling the kids not to stand up in the tub and to be careful because, "You could slip and fall and...uh, die."  

Okay, I didn't think we said "die" but maybe we had.  I know for a fact we say "You could slip and fall and really really get hurt." Hmmmm.....note to self, the kids ARE listening.

The Love Fairy: "When I die mama will I be able to open my eyes?"

Me:  "Yep I think so.  It's just that when you open your eyes in heaven, things might look a little different."

The Love Fairy:  "Will I see clouds and waterfalls?"

Me:  "Sure..."

The Love Fairy:  "And in heaven I will get to meet the precious God!! Who is God to the entire world!"

From what I know I have never ever referred to God as precious.  So sweet, I thought.

Then she sits back and looks up at me with these peaceful blue eyes and says, "Mama, are you gonna die before I do?"

Oh, how I love death conversations with the kids.  Really gets me spinning.

Me: "I sure hope so!"

The Love Fairy: "NO!  I don't want you to die first!  I don't want to be without you! Maybe I'll die first!"

*gulp, swallow, heart, heart, gulp, breath, the thought, oh please*

Me:  "Oh no sweetie.  That's not gonna happen and don't worry because I'm not gonna die for a long, long time."

From my mouth to precious God's ears.

The Love Fairy: "Really, how long?"

Me:  "Oh, I'm gonna be around for so long.  I'll probably live to be one hundred years old!"  

Okay, maybe NOT from my mouth to precious God's ears.

The Love Fairy:  "One hundred??"

Me:  "Yep."

She pauses, her little wheels spinning.

The Love Fairy:  "How old are you now?"

Me: "41."

The Love Fairy:  "Oh my gosh! That IS almost one hundred!"


Oh precious God, let's try and keep these death conversations to a bare minimum.  


  1. I hate those hard to hear.

    Of course it helps with they close with "when I'm as old as you, will my butt be that gigantic, too?"

    Lets talk about that bathtub again....

  2. How sweet! When my oldest was younger, she wanted to stay five....because she didn't want to die! I would have to turn my head to hide the tears every time she said it!

  3. Death conversations are some of the most difficult but sweet and sincere conversations ever! I hate them, but so much can be revealed.

  4. 41,42, 100!

    Thank goodness she's wrong Lee! What a sweet conversation.


  5. These conversations are heart wrenching, aren't they?

  6. i hear ya. my SEVENTEEN year old STILL reassures herself, while asking me - you and daddy won't ever get divorced will you?

    never had any problems, never talked about, but they just NEED to know that it'll never happen huh?

  7. Oh man. 41. 100. Very similar :)

    Death conversations are so tough.

  8. yep, that's a tough one. i want to say something funny, but my fingers won't cooperate. of course all the little ones want is reassurance that they'll be safe and loved and cared for. but as the grown up having to balance the naked truth with what they need to hear, i have found myself really, really depressed at times. sometimes i wonder if the only ray of sunshine in possibly outliving my son will be that he'll have his mom there for him. that

    ugh, sorry.

  9. That's sweet. If you think the death convos are hard, wait unil she gets to the "mommy, why do you have hair THERE!?" talk.

  10. My kids ask that kind of stuff, and I just say I'll live to be 300. That seems to help, but they know it's not true. ;)

  11. Ugh, Lily has been all about the death talk lately and I hate it. Totally freaks me out!

  12. Bathtub conversations are so enlightening, aren't they? lol!

  13. My eyes are welled with tears...such a touching conversation between you and sweet Love Fairy.

    At the end of the day, our kids just need to know we'll be there. They need that security in their little souls.

    I remember feeling the EXACT same way about my own parents. It's kinda cool to know that I now provide that same security and reassurance to someone else (at least I hope I do!!)

  14. Oh man. I am so not ready for these types of conversations. It's a good thing Monkey can only string together a couple of words at most and usually they have something to do with Elmo, eating, or her jacket (she loves her jacket for some reason).

    I can imagine it is hard to keep things honest yet not scary.

  15. Om my goodness!!!! What a sweet and scary conversation!! Death is such a hard topic, especially with kids. She is so adorable though!!


  16. the Love Fairy, well I totally understand her name now. I have not yet had the "pleasure" of having the convo with peanut...but I hope I handle it as eloquently as you. I start tearing up over road kill, movies, and ect... i am such a softie...
    Anyway, you truley are blessed with such a wonderful family!

  17. Oh man, I hate those conversations, too. That one brought tears to my eyes! Add in Me and MY kids and I a m a total mess. Me and precious God have already had a few conversations about them living longer than me....

  18. I love that she thinks God is for the entire world. I wish everyone thought so. ;-)

  19. My heart was aching through the whole thing even though you're so funny as you share this! So I was laughing while trying not to cry. I think that makes you a very good writer. AND you have a sweet girl on your hands. The precious God is smiling on you!

  20. Oh Love Fairy. I love you.

    Once my then 4 year old said "I bet you think about dying all the time since you are almost there huh?"


    I make the little human, feed him, raise him and that is the thanks I get........awesome. Oh precious God.

  21. That IS almost 100. ( or as I say in school- one hundred is like a billion...)

  22. Children are amazingly innocent, making them amazingly insightful. When does that leave us?

  23. So incredibly sweet and I think that she is appropriately named The Love Fairy. XO

  24. That hurt my heart, just a little. Children should come with warnings...

    (I hope you contemplated grounding her for that sassy almost 100 comment.)

  25. Its conversations like these that make me wonder if maybe my son's speach delay is a blessing in disguise... I don't know if I could have handled that quite as well as you did..

  26. Oh that is sweet...tell her the precious word possibly came subliminally from me :))


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