tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955155520122173178.post6554132210535791144..comments2023-11-02T04:54:54.364-07:00Comments on moms without blogs: A Mother OR A Best Friend OR Both?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955155520122173178.post-43889293640673013282009-04-23T17:27:00.000-07:002009-04-23T17:27:00.000-07:00This is great!! So well siad.
The first words out...This is great!! So well siad.<br /><br />The first words out of my mouth when they told me "It's a girl!" were "Oh, $%it" for all of these reasons and more. But, I've found a place to be with both of my girls and also believe it can grow into a friendship someday. Once they don't need me to remind them to hold the glass with two hands...MLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15285638670031812559noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955155520122173178.post-24368224347054096352009-04-19T16:50:00.000-07:002009-04-19T16:50:00.000-07:00I love this post.
It IS a really tricky balance...I love this post. <br /><br />It IS a really tricky balance. But I think you have a really good start with what you wrote about another time. That sense of belonging. (I loved that post too.) <br /><br />I had (have) a similar relationship with my mom and sometimes I grieve the fact that we don't have a friendship of any sort. <br /><br />In short, I just really, really want my kiddos to be able to talk to me. I had the same experience with the bra thing. It just shouldn't be that way.<br /><br />I get you :)Heather of the EOhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14607422301391841377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955155520122173178.post-7301631745784300912009-04-16T19:33:00.000-07:002009-04-16T19:33:00.000-07:00I feel like I can tell my mom anything, now. Throu...I feel like I can tell my mom anything, now. Through my teenage years not so much. Somewhere along the way my mom became one of my closest friends but I don't think it really fully happened until after I was married. There is something about those teenage years that even when you know the decision you are making is the the best one you still go for it and it was easier for me to not go down that long road with my parents.Evolving Mommy Catherinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02396529445805781031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955155520122173178.post-11401274481279741882009-04-16T17:10:00.000-07:002009-04-16T17:10:00.000-07:00Mom is definitely not my friend. Most of the time...Mom is definitely not my friend. Most of the time we just push each others buttons. But, having a Baby Gurl of my own, I only pray that I can nurture a careful balance between mom and almost-friend.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955155520122173178.post-41052867008305283442009-04-16T07:35:00.000-07:002009-04-16T07:35:00.000-07:00what a great post. being able to tell your mom any...what a great post. being able to tell your mom anything is a wonderful thing-your girls will appreciate it even more when they are grown. my mom and i have always been like that.... good lord she sent me condom coupons in college- but all my roommates wished their moms were that cool :)dianehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11471929193933728907noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955155520122173178.post-82709132304164355172009-04-16T06:51:00.000-07:002009-04-16T06:51:00.000-07:00I have a pretty good relationship with my Mom...bu...I have a pretty good relationship with my Mom...but I'm pretty easy going. I worry about how Miss Peach and I will be as she gets older. I think it's the teenage years that scare me:OCynthiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00625673916138703709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955155520122173178.post-68189611271249611092009-04-15T22:37:00.000-07:002009-04-15T22:37:00.000-07:00mothers and daughters - that most complex of relat...mothers and daughters - that most complex of relationships! you can be close, but you can't ever be there friend! it's just the way it is. there is still a lifetime of fun and wonderful memories to be had thoughscrappysuehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04820776600535640590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955155520122173178.post-75034035163901291522009-04-15T20:26:00.000-07:002009-04-15T20:26:00.000-07:00Yes, Lee, it sounds like I'm pimping my own post, ...Yes, Lee, it sounds like I'm pimping my own post, and I suppose I am...but to help you out, check out my April 14. THAT is how you strike the balance. Give her a call; she'll fill you in. <br /><br />And my mother always said to me, "You should not be having sex before marriage. But, if you decide that it is something you are going to choose to do, for G-d's sake tell me. I'll make you feel as guilty as hell, and then we'll go to the doctor for the pill." That worked for me!Sassy Britcheshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00346700962941797782noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955155520122173178.post-49647537486300278842009-04-15T18:13:00.000-07:002009-04-15T18:13:00.000-07:00Wow...this post makes me cry my eyes out, because ...Wow...this post makes me cry my eyes out, because I spend every day with guilt pangs about how much my mom gets under my skin. <br /><br />Excellent post.Mama-Facehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17580875108645568975noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955155520122173178.post-81990163288776413222009-04-15T16:45:00.000-07:002009-04-15T16:45:00.000-07:00What a thought-provoking post. As a woman with on...What a thought-provoking post. As a woman with only a son, I don't have that kind of mother-daughter relationship to cultivate, although Shortman is very open and honest with me in nearly everything. And nearly? Is okay with me, I think.<br /><br />My mother and I became friends when I was in my 30s. I think that's the right time to become "friends" rather than mother/daughter, teacher/student.TSintheChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01921083603967329926noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955155520122173178.post-21549202194070421412009-04-15T15:32:00.000-07:002009-04-15T15:32:00.000-07:00My mom was also a super mother when I was growing ...My mom was also a super mother when I was growing up. But, we weren't great friends-I was way too bratty even though she tried.<br />Now, I can't imagine NOT being friends with my mother.<br />I, too,plan on finding the mix of both. I just hope I'm not a bratty MOM as well!Anniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05779674385680471352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955155520122173178.post-74345051926661383202009-04-15T14:48:00.000-07:002009-04-15T14:48:00.000-07:00When you find out how to do that - wouldya let me ...When you find out how to do that - wouldya let me know?<br /><br />My mom is my mom. I can say what I want to her - but she is still my mom. When I tell her I love her...she says "thanks".Swirl Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18241915723936809627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955155520122173178.post-43667171740344676002009-04-15T12:59:00.000-07:002009-04-15T12:59:00.000-07:00Well said Lee! After the birth of my daughter, tho...Well said Lee! After the birth of my daughter, those thoughts crossed my mind, and the "lack of whatever" my mother did not give me, contributed to a bout of the post blues! I think it is important to be more than what our mothers gave us, but at the same time draw a clear line! There are just some things I really don't want to know...and I will be giving my daughter my whole heart opinions! I only hope I go about it correctly...o my daily struggle! Hang in there, we will all go through this together....sharing our horror stories of the teenage years. And the feeling of knowing others share the same thoughts will help get us through it! :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955155520122173178.post-4447886367482576402009-04-15T10:59:00.000-07:002009-04-15T10:59:00.000-07:00I hope that you can. I had the best of both worlds...I hope that you can. I had the best of both worlds, a mom and a friends. Still do and its awesome!Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10399156539354549499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955155520122173178.post-60332537489609150252009-04-15T09:58:00.000-07:002009-04-15T09:58:00.000-07:00Lee... you CAN strike that balance. You just have...Lee... you CAN strike that balance. You just have to erase any of those preconcieved notions about what a mother is and start thinking. I CAN be a friend and a mother and know how to pull which card and when. You CAN do it I have faith in you! <br /><br />HugsAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14869448149679702821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955155520122173178.post-24244351161178111072009-04-15T08:58:00.001-07:002009-04-15T08:58:00.001-07:00I have to agree with Jay(don't tell)- this was sad...I have to agree with Jay(don't tell)- this was sad and wonderful.<br />I'm right with you. I think my mom was a good mom, she did amazing things for me, but we aren't friends, much best friends. I want so much more for my son. I think I'm doing it, but only time will tell.<br />Love ya, girl - as alwaysStickyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02693558544168590952noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955155520122173178.post-26934453632262518802009-04-15T08:58:00.000-07:002009-04-15T08:58:00.000-07:00Well done my friend. I'm not exactly sure your ho...Well done my friend. I'm not exactly sure your hope can be achieved. Sorry. By virtue of being a parent, you forego the "friendship." In my opinion, that's what parenting is all about.<br /><br />Don't get me wrong, talking to you about sex, drugs and rock and roll can still happen with you as the parent. At least, that's what I think.Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06801962129600420128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955155520122173178.post-29849572853461169802009-04-15T08:26:00.000-07:002009-04-15T08:26:00.000-07:00I have no advice here. The relationship I have wit...I have no advice here. The relationship I have with my mother is odd, good, but odd. Let's just say it's a good thing that we live 800 miles apart. We do much better on the phone. <br /><br />But you can bet I'm taking notes from these comments!!<br /><br />Great post.Ashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00084508582913500810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955155520122173178.post-29384451523865571362009-04-15T07:17:00.000-07:002009-04-15T07:17:00.000-07:00Here's my two cents - you said it with the kids do...Here's my two cents - you said it with the kids don't need friends, they need parents. However, I think "friendship" within the parenting spectrum can be achieved while they are young can then blossom into a beautiful full blown friendship when the child (boy or girl) becomes an adult. However, when they are children the "friendship" should not reign over the "parent." Of course, I am not really speaking from experience. While my mom and I do just fine, she is still my "mom" and less of a "friend." Does that make sense? A lot of that is based on the fact that we are very different and have very different opinions on what is right, ok and wrong.<br /><br />I also agree wholeheartedly with Deb. My mom and dad made it clear what their expectations were but would frequently tell us "whatever decisions you do make, be sure it's one you can live with." And I often tell my kids "That might not be such a good decision" and give them examples of what might happen if they go in that direction.Kimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02921336810725430983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955155520122173178.post-81982801976071596122009-04-15T05:18:00.000-07:002009-04-15T05:18:00.000-07:00Way to go, Lee.
Boy the example about the bra mad...Way to go, Lee.<br /><br />Boy the example about the bra made me cringe...it really summed up the relationship. Great that she was a good mother, and always there, but so happy for you that you realize what was missing, and want to be different.<br /><br />What a sad and wonderful post.<br /><br />JayHalftime Lessonshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11496754112523393227noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8955155520122173178.post-3373489820459754092009-04-15T04:55:00.000-07:002009-04-15T04:55:00.000-07:00ugh, i hate to use this word, but i think one of t...ugh, i hate to use this word, but i think one of the keys is empowerment. giving your kids the feeling that they are making the good decisions for themselves, instead of the "good decisions" being thrust upon them. this may sound controversial, but i think my 15 y.o. may really think that he can have sex or try smoking, if he so chooses, which, in reality... i guess he could. but he can tell you EXACTLY how i feel on the matter because we talk about it a lot (well, not like all the time, but i use everything i can get my hands on to keep a running dialogue). it's never "over my dead body"... it's more like "it's your choice, but here are the consequences. i love you no matter what, but i would hate to see you complicate your future).<br /><br />i just make sure i take his feelings and beliefs into consideration, and validate them as actual beliefs instead of "oh, when you get older you'll see you are wrong"... i am big on that, as you know. i felt completely shut down as a kid. <br /><br />lord, i sound so wise (major eyeroll), you'd think my kids are actually well adjusted and good.Debhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07896271627723253157noreply@blogger.com